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North Vs. South

A forum for discussing US dialects (accents).

North Vs. South

Postby scw1217 » Thu Mar 22, 2007 9:08 am

This sent to me via email. BIG side note, since it was sent to me I did not write it. Disclamer, not all of these apply to me personally. :lol:

The North has Bloomingdales, the South has Dollar General.

The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle Houses.

The North has dating services, the South has family reunions.

The North has switchblade knives, the South has Lee Press-on-Nails.

The North has double last names, the South has double first names.

The North has Indy car races, the South has stock car races.

The North has Cream of Wheat, the South has grits.

The North has green salads, the South has collard greens.

The North has lobsters, the South has crawfish.

The North has the rust belt, the South has the Bible Belt.

FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . .

In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men
in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly.
Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they
live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store....
do not buy food at this store.

Remember, "y'all" is proper English, "all y'all" is plural, and "all
y'all's" is plural possessive

Get used to hearing "Y'all ain't from round here, are ya?"

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how
to use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.

The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's
vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or big'ol" boy. Most Northerners
begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in
denial about it.

The proper pronunciations you learned in school is no longer proper.

Be advised that "He needed killin'." is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this", you should
stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll
ever say.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store.
It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mamas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to
pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER: If y'all do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven,
we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.
Suzanne Williams is a native Floridian, wife, and mother, with a penchant for spelling anything, who happens to love photography.
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Postby Perry » Thu Mar 22, 2007 2:25 pm

You forgot:
If the turn signal is blinking, it doesn't mean that the driver is about to turn. The signal is either broken, or it was on when the car was purchased and never got turned off.
"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once. Lately it hasn't been working."
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Postby scw1217 » Thu Mar 22, 2007 2:48 pm

Perry wrote:You forgot:
If the turn signal is blinking, it doesn't mean that the driver is about to turn. The signal is either broken, or it was on when the car was purchased and never got turned off.


I have been behind that person!
Suzanne Williams is a native Floridian, wife, and mother, with a penchant for spelling anything, who happens to love photography.
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Postby skinem » Thu Mar 22, 2007 4:32 pm

By and large, a pretty accurate list.
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Postby vacuumfoam » Mon Jun 11, 2007 11:05 am

I'm fixin' to send this here list to all mah friends here in Waco. :)

The North has Bloomingdales, the South has Dollar General.
That's cuz down here, we know the value of a dollar.

The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle Houses.
The only bucks we want have twelve points.

The North has dating services, the South has family reunions.
If sumthin' works ...

The North has switchblade knives, the South has Lee Press-on-Nails.
The better for our wimmen to stand by their men.

The North has double last names, the South has double first names.
'Cuz we ain't always sure 'bout the last one.

The North has Indy car races, the South has stock car races.
... an' dirt track races an' demolition derbies an' monster trucks ...

The North has Cream of Wheat, the South has grits.
Grits ain't a breakfast cereal. Grits is a way of life.

The North has green salads, the South has collard greens.
... an' turnip greens an' mustard greens an' ...

The North has lobsters, the South has crawfish.
'Ceptin' we calls 'em "crawdads."

The North has the rust belt, the South has the Bible Belt.
Whut's a belt?
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Postby Perry » Mon Jun 11, 2007 1:19 pm

Cute!
"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once. Lately it hasn't been working."
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Re: North Vs. South

Postby Bailey » Mon Jun 11, 2007 4:43 pm

scw1217 wrote: Disclamer, not all of these apply to me personally. :lol:

which are which?


AND REMEMBER: If y'all do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven,
we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.

but you could...

mark being-silly Bailey

Today is the first day of the rest of your life, Make the most of it...
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Re: North Vs. South

Postby skinem » Mon Jun 11, 2007 5:45 pm

Bailey wrote:
scw1217 wrote: Disclamer, not all of these apply to me personally. :lol:

which are which?
After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven,
we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.

but you could...

mark being-silly Bailey



Any self-respecting Southerner would know about cat-head biscuits!
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Re: North Vs. South

Postby txmusicgirl » Wed Jun 13, 2007 6:18 pm

scw1217 wrote:
The North has Bloomingdales, the South has Dollar General.
and Dollar Tree, Just a Dollar, Just a buck, lol but it always just gets shortened to tha dollar store.

The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle Houses.
Waffle House Rocks....lol I gotta Waffle House credit card.....lol

The North has double last names, the South has double first names.
I know many a joe-bob, billy-joe, billy-bob

The North has Indy car races, the South has stock car races.
NASCAR!!

The North has Cream of Wheat, the South has grits.
Yummy with sugar and butter

The North has lobsters, the South has crawfish.
We have crawdads, and you fish for 'em with bacon on a string when yer little.
The North has the rust belt, the South has the Bible Belt.

FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . .

In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men
in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly.Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
Lmao....soo true

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store....
do not buy food at this store.
all though some of the bigger ones they do have mighty fine vittles

Get used to hearing "Y'all ain't from round here, are ya?"
haha I always do that :lol:

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on howto use it.
Wanna get in big trouble....Dont save the grease when you cook something I know this first hand

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store.It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.
hahhaha......you can always find a packed walmart parkin lot when theres a chance of snow, dont wanna be cooped up in the house for a week without nothing cuz all the roads are closed

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mamas taught them how to aim.
And you learn how to drive here at about 7-8 on a back road.

AND REMEMBER: If y'all do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven,
we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.

reminds me of somethin my grandad use to say all the time:
"You can put your boots in the oven but that don't make 'em biscuts"
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Postby Perry » Thu Jun 14, 2007 7:34 am

Welcome to fold, Tex.
"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once. Lately it hasn't been working."
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Postby vacuumfoam » Thu Jun 14, 2007 10:11 am

Howdy, TXMG!

I remember well fishing for crawdads as a kid using bacon on a string. We had a little creek--now paved over as a drainage culvert--just down the hill from our house where the neighborhood kids went "crawdad fishin'." When a suitably sized crawdad latched on to the bacon, you had to ever-so-slowly draw the crawdad close to the bank, then give a yank on the string to pop it out of the creek before it could let go of the bacon. Of course, then you had to be careful not to get clamped by its claws when scrambling to pick it up before it made it back into the creek. Ouch!

Unfortunately, being the Texas-born, half-breed son of a Philadelphia Yankee and a second-generation Lebanese-American, I never had the pleasure of eating my catch. That had to wait until I grew up and visited New Orleans. :)
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Postby Bailey » Thu Jun 14, 2007 1:42 pm

vacuumfoam wrote:
The North has Bloomingdales, the South has Dollar General.
That's cuz down here, we know the value of a dollar.


I live in N. Illinois! and we have two dollar stores in my small town, no Bloomingdales gotta go all the way into Chicago for that.

mark dollar-for-dollar Bailey

Today is the first day of the rest of your life, Make the most of it...
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Postby vacuumfoam » Thu Jun 14, 2007 4:35 pm

See, "two dollar stores." Twice as expensive. :D
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Postby Bailey » Thu Jun 14, 2007 6:55 pm

no, one is dollar general and one is family dollar, but I have noticed that they are charging much more than a dollar on popular items. There are plenty of accents up here. including southern types.

mark we-have-trailerparks,-junklands,-and-trucks-up on-blocks-here-too Bailey

we have a neighbor who has no plumbing and tosses his trash and other er, effluvia in the greenbelt in our area.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life, Make the most of it...
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Postby vacuumfoam » Fri Jun 15, 2007 12:46 pm

I guess my attempt at facetiousness fell flat. Aye, me. :?
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