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Pun Times -- Industrial Accidents

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Pun Times -- Industrial Accidents

Postby Stargzer » Thu Aug 03, 2006 7:39 pm

Did you hear about:

--The butcher that backed into his meat grinder and got a little behind in his work?

--The chemist who fell into his esterification kettle? He survived, but was horribly butylated.

--The lady who back into a fan? Disaster!

--The optician who fell into his lens-grinding machine? He made quite a spectable!
Regards//Larry

"To preserve liberty, it is essential that the whole body of the people always possess arms, and be taught alike, especially when young, how to use them."
-- Attributed to Richard Henry Lee
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Postby gailr » Thu Aug 03, 2006 8:30 pm

Very nice, Stargzer!

I looked up butylated and was enchanted to find that Butylated hydroxytoluene (BHT)
is a fat-soluble organic compound primarily used as an antioxidant food additive (E number E321). It also used as an antioxidant in cosmetics, pharmaceutical drugs, jet fuels, rubber and petroleum products, and embalming fluid.


BHT: for those who want to live fast, die young and leave a good-looking corpse.

-gailr
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Postby Stargzer » Thu Aug 03, 2006 9:17 pm

Hey, if BHA and BHT preserve food, shouldn't I also consume as much of them as I can? 8)

Like butylated hydroxytoluene] (BHT), the conjugated aromatic ring of BHA is able to stabilize free radicals, sequestering them. By acting as free radical scavengers, further free radical reactions are prevented.


Yeah! Sequester them free radicals! The Weathermen, the Yippies, Jane Fonda . . . wait a minute, didn't free radical Jerry Rubin end up as a reactionary?
Regards//Larry

"To preserve liberty, it is essential that the whole body of the people always possess arms, and be taught alike, especially when young, how to use them."
-- Attributed to Richard Henry Lee
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Postby gailr » Fri Aug 04, 2006 12:52 am

Stargzer wrote:
Like butylated hydroxytoluene] (BHT), the conjugated aromatic ring of BHA is able to stabilize free radicals, sequestering them. By acting as free radical scavengers, further free radical reactions are prevented.

I'm suspicious of these conjugated aromatic rings and such. Is this science, linguistics, or yet another radical element endangering family values?

-gailr
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Postby Bailey » Fri Aug 04, 2006 10:20 am

does anyone remember this?
I am writing in response to your request for additional information for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80 foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now un-needed tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using a pulley, which was fortunately attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the 300 pounds of tools. You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh only 155 pounds. Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind. I let go of the rope . . .


mark what-a-load-of-bricks Bailey
Last edited by Bailey on Fri Aug 04, 2006 10:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby Stargzer » Fri Aug 04, 2006 10:37 am

Ah yes, a version of "Why Paddy's not at work today." I think the best version I've heard is the a capella version called "Dear Boss" by Mike Cross on his "Best of the Funny Stuff" CD. Several other goodies on there including "The Scotsman" and "The Farewell Toast."

" . . .
Here's to our wives and sweathearts,
And may they never meet.
. . .
As to the thoughts of women, our faults are but two:
Every single thing we say and everything we do.
. . ."
Regards//Larry

"To preserve liberty, it is essential that the whole body of the people always possess arms, and be taught alike, especially when young, how to use them."
-- Attributed to Richard Henry Lee
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Postby Perry » Fri Aug 04, 2006 11:38 am

Wonderful stuff Bailey!
"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once. Lately it hasn't been working."
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Postby Bailey » Fri Aug 04, 2006 1:08 pm

Perry I laughed so hard the first time I read it I was nearly "in stitches" (burst at the 'seams')

mark who-loves-to-laugh Bailey

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Postby Perry » Fri Aug 04, 2006 2:57 pm

It just occurred to me that we don't know if this tale of woe was dictated or typed. His fingers did get smashed into the pulley after all.
"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once. Lately it hasn't been working."
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Postby Bailey » Fri Aug 04, 2006 3:29 pm

according to Snopes, where I found it the original was a tale told by a sailer before 1943 asking for additional shore leave.
If we believe Rear Admiral Gallery, he told this story to his crew in either 1943 or 1944, while he was captain of the U.S.S. Guadalcanal


mark never-trusts-a-pulley Bailey
I hate to admit this but I tried to get to the top of the industrial-sized swing with a rope and loop, I tried this twice, forgetting that taking a great heave of the rope to pull myself up results in dumping myself on my head. I was 7 the second time, I forget exactly why I wanted to get to the top..

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Postby skinem » Fri Aug 04, 2006 6:33 pm

Ah, yes, the barrel story...I've heard the "Paddy" version. Snopes is a wonderful thing.

The following is in the same category...Snopes calls it "undetermined". True or not, it's funny, and it fits the thread as an "industrial" accident.

"April, 1998

Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this:

We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of garbage sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temp. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is I take the hose and stuff it down the back of my neck. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my backside started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my rearend started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened to me. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.

This is even worse than the poison ivy I once had under a cast. Now I had that hose down my back. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into myself. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the comms. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he along with 5 other divers were laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3 agonizing water stops totaling 35 minutes before I could come to the surface.

I got to the surface wearing nothing but my brass helmet. My suit and gear were tied to the bell. When I got on board the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to put it on my rear when I get in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't use the bathroom for two days because I was swollen. I later found out that this could easily have been prevented if the suction hose was placed on the leeward side of the ship.

Anyway, the next time you have a bad day at the office, think of me. Think about how much worse your day would be if you were to shove a jellyfish inside your clothes. I hope you have no bad days at the office. But if you do, I hope that thought will make it a little more tolerable. Take care, and I hope to hear from you soon.

Love,
Brian "
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