www.alphadictionary.com

Not language related--just tickled me.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. (That's why I just follow Mark Twain's advice. However, I've added glasses, a pipe and beard for effect. Look bemused, nod slowly while puffing and stroking the beard. Now, I'm considered thoughtful and intelligent without speaking at all. It's all due to props.)

He who laughs last, thinks slowest. (Who, me?)

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. (That's why I live by my wits. Unarmed, at times.)

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. (Proven at work daily by management. Wait, that's me.)

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.

The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

now how did I miss these? I love 'em. Especially:
He who laughs last, thinks slowest. (Who, me?)

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. (That's why I live by my wits. Unarmed, at times.)

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. (Proven at work daily by management. Wait, that's me.)

they are so me!

mark a-fool-thinking-slow-with-a-sword Bailey

You can make a system fool-proof, but not damn-fool-proof.

Murphy's Rule of Combat: Tracers work both ways.

Not one of Murphy's laws, but an observation:

The larger the tires on his truck, the smaller the IQ on his girlfriend.

-gailr

Not one of Murphy's laws, but an observation:

The larger the tires on his truck, the smaller the IQ on his girlfriend.

-gailr

What about his IQ?

Not one of Murphy's laws, but an observation:

The larger the tires on his truck, the smaller the IQ on his girlfriend.

-gailr

What about his IQ?

That is usually in inverse proportion to her bust size.

-gailr

Not one of Murphy's laws, but an observation:

The larger the tires on his truck, the smaller the IQ on his girlfriend.

-gailr

What about his IQ?

To quote the coyote hunter in Tom Rush's song A Cowboy's Paean (on a Coyote),

". . . I got my 30-30 and my eyes are 20-20,
I got my M-16 and my trusty .44,
I got my 1080 and my IQ's (heh-heh) double-digits,
Boys, this is gonna be an all-out war!

I got my field rations straight from old Jack Daniels,
Hank Jr.'s on the 8-track in my 4-by-4,
And I'd shoot a thousand coyotes, if I could just only find one,
'Cause boys, that's what God made coyotes for!"

This song is his free download this month. Go to his home page to hear Rockport Sunday play when the page loads. And check his touring schedule so you can see him next time he plays close to you.

(Stargzer experiences a Rush of nostalgia[pun inteded] and trips back into the 60s)

Hank Jr.'s on the 8-track

Some of you young'uns might not even know what an 8-trackis.

See the below quote to understand why 8-tracks would drive me mad; back in the day when groups were beginning to plan their albums instead of singles, and the playing order was important.

8-tracks had an audible pause and mechanical click (often in the middle of a program) when tracks were automatically switched. Unless by coincidence the original song lineup had breaks that fell naturally near the 1/4, 1/2 & 3/4 positions of the original (i.e., gramophone format) album, there would either be long pauses at the end of the track (if the original song order were to be preserved and the songs not chopped), the songs were reordered (to achieve a more even distribution of song time to minimize the end or track pauses), or in the most egregious cases, having a song actually be chopped into pieces.

. . . and just try to find the Rewind button!

8-tracks had an audible pause and mechanical click (often in the middle of a program) when tracks were automatically switched. ...or in the most egregious cases, having a song actually be chopped into pieces.

This was an undocumented feature on a compilation tape I had:
Two-oo, divided by lo-ove, can only be o-one, [ka-CHUNK] and one is...

-gailr
Hearing the entire song on cd just never seems quite right...

When I was a lad, all we could afford was a 7-track. And we had to rewind it uphill in the snow in both directions.

Actually, I missed the whole 8-track thing, moving as if carried by celestial harpies from the childhood comfort of the 78, through the scratchy brevity of the 45, to the 33 (which buckled in the sun), reluctantly past a few tangled cassettes, to the hacking, unreliable CDs I own today. My Ipod carrying associates simply sneer...

-- PW

Now me, I had an 8-track recorder as a wee lad and had to spend hours adding and subtracting times, shuffling songs (with pen and paper, not a virtual button, dadgummit) and rearranging to get a track to fit just so and run it right up to the sensor foil. No rewind but it did have a Fast Forward button. But I have memories like Gail's as well and still wonder where the ka-CHUNK went upon hearing a modern rendering of an old favourite.

8-tracks were modeled after broadcast cartridges ("carts", used for years in radio stations) that were the same idea, an endless loop that circles back to its own beginning, but without multiple tracks. Every recorded radio commercial, PSA, EBS test, and eventually music singles came from a cart from the 1950s to 1980s and beyond. They're still in use in some rural areas.

As 4 the cassette, which kept me employed some 20 years, the coolest thing I know is that you can abbreviate it "K7" in Romance languages. Word of advice kids: never vacuum your casettes. Unless you really hate what's on there, then it's ten seconds of sheer delight.