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not a pun, but I think you might find this funny

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not a pun, but I think you might find this funny

Postby Bailey » Tue Dec 12, 2006 2:36 am

A Lady friend of mine claims to have actually said this in a Wal-mart in Florida, she's such a Lady It really took me by surprise:
The Purina Diet

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was
starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IV's in both arms.

Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it . I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel
hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was
that why I ended up in the hospital. I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

mark ok-I'm-ashamed-of-myself Bailey

Today is the first day of the rest of your life, Make the most of it...

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Postby bnjtokyo » Wed Dec 13, 2006 4:50 am

Never tell the truth when you can misdirect the gullable.

I was once going rock climbing with some friends in Yosemite when a little old old lady asked us if she could ask a question. We wearily replied "Yes." She then asked if the reason we all had different colored ropes was so we could tell each other apart. One of us answered "yes" and then, as she turned to her little grandchildren and started to explain it all to them, we all skipped around behind a big rock so we start laughing.

Keep up the good work, Bailey
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Postby skinem » Wed Dec 13, 2006 12:15 pm

I was in Mt. Rainier National Park several years ago when a man with plates from back east in the parking lot asked a buddy and me if there were bears in the park. When I answered "You bet", he said "You mean they just let them run around loose up here in the park?" Seemingly very sincere. Before I could answer (meaning, close my mouth from hanging open) my friend said "Well, the rangers only let them loose in certain areas in the morning, and then they bring them back in just before dark" It seemed to satisfy the man. Well, me, too. Some people just shouldn't be allowed out and about by themselves...
Last edited by skinem on Wed Dec 13, 2006 8:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby gailr » Wed Dec 13, 2006 6:01 pm

Several years ago, some friends in the National Park Service in South Dakota wrote a great filk (to the tune of Ghost Riders in the Sky) out of the questions posed by tourists who had, apparently, not packed their brains for the Grand Family Vacation Out West. The filk's title--and rousing refrain--was: Is This Cave Underground?

*humming* I still think it's a great song...
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Postby Bailey » Wed Dec 13, 2006 7:40 pm

I'd like to see those lyrics,

mark curious Bailey

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