Alphadictionary.com

Our Sponsors

Technical Translation
Website Translation Clip Art
 

Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Miscellaneous Other Topics.

Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Postby scw1217 » Wed May 16, 2007 2:32 pm

I have read these before, but must admit the runner up really has me laughing!

"I know what you're thinking, punk," hissed Wordy Harry to his new editor, "you're thinking, 'Did he use six superfluous adjectives or only five?' - and to tell the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement; but being as this is English, the most powerful language in the world, whose subtle nuances will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' - well do you, punk?"

Stuart Vasepuru
Edinburgh, Scotland
Suzanne Williams is a native Floridian, wife, and mother, with a penchant for spelling anything, who happens to love photography.
User avatar
scw1217
Lexiterian
 
Posts: 258
Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2005 7:50 am
Location: Florida, USA

Postby skinem » Wed May 16, 2007 6:56 pm

Oh, no! It's Unclean Harold!
User avatar
skinem
Grand Panjandrum
 
Posts: 1197
Joined: Thu Apr 27, 2006 4:33 pm
Location: Middle Tennessee

Postby scw1217 » Wed May 16, 2007 8:09 pm

skinem wrote:Oh, no! It's Unclean Harold!


:lol: Took me a minute to get that one.
Suzanne Williams is a native Floridian, wife, and mother, with a penchant for spelling anything, who happens to love photography.
User avatar
scw1217
Lexiterian
 
Posts: 258
Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2005 7:50 am
Location: Florida, USA

Postby gailr » Wed May 16, 2007 11:30 pm

Ahhh, the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. Also I love the bad Hemingway contests. They are good.
User avatar
gailr
Grand Panjandrum
 
Posts: 1945
Joined: Tue Mar 15, 2005 11:40 am

Postby scw1217 » Thu May 17, 2007 7:58 am

gailr wrote:Ahhh, the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. Also I love the bad Hemingway contests. They are good.


I read Hemingway once and couldn't get into his style of character conversation. It seemed unnatural and choppy to me. In any case, I've not heard of the bad Hemingway contest. In light of my opinion of Hemingway, they are either really bad or much better. :D
Suzanne Williams is a native Floridian, wife, and mother, with a penchant for spelling anything, who happens to love photography.
User avatar
scw1217
Lexiterian
 
Posts: 258
Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2005 7:50 am
Location: Florida, USA

Postby Perry » Thu May 17, 2007 2:01 pm

I just now had a chance to read the full page. I loved every single bad joke (even the refrigerator magnates)!
"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once. Lately it hasn't been working."
Anonymous
User avatar
Perry
Grand Panjandrum
 
Posts: 2306
Joined: Wed Mar 29, 2006 9:50 am
Location: Asheville, NC

Postby Bailey » Thu May 17, 2007 3:11 pm

Suze, funny you should mention loquacious

mark bin-dere-dun-dat Bailey
I guess y'all really don't need me anymore.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life, Make the most of it...
kb








Bailey
Grand Panjandrum
 
Posts: 2114
Joined: Tue Mar 21, 2006 7:51 pm

Postby scw1217 » Thu May 17, 2007 3:33 pm

Bailey wrote:Suze, funny you should mention loquacious

mark bin-dere-dun-dat Bailey
I guess y'all really don't need me anymore.


Great minds think alike eh?
Suzanne Williams is a native Floridian, wife, and mother, with a penchant for spelling anything, who happens to love photography.
User avatar
scw1217
Lexiterian
 
Posts: 258
Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2005 7:50 am
Location: Florida, USA

Postby gailr » Fri May 18, 2007 2:15 am

scw1217 wrote:
gailr wrote:Ahhh, the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. Also I love the bad Hemingway contests. They are good.


I read Hemingway once and couldn't get into his style of character conversation. It seemed unnatural and choppy to me. In any case, I've not heard of the bad Hemingway contest. In light of my opinion of Hemingway, they are either really bad or much better. :D


Hemingway did have his eloquent moments:
They wrote in the old days that it is sweet and fitting to die for one’s country. But in modern war, there is nothing sweet nor fitting in your dying. You will die like a dog for no good reason. ― Ernest Hemingway
User avatar
gailr
Grand Panjandrum
 
Posts: 1945
Joined: Tue Mar 15, 2005 11:40 am

Postby scw1217 » Fri May 18, 2007 12:49 pm

gailr wrote:Hemingway did have his eloquent moments:
They wrote in the old days that it is sweet and fitting to die for one’s country. But in modern war, there is nothing sweet nor fitting in your dying. You will die like a dog for no good reason. ― Ernest Hemingway


Nor did I mean to totally discount everything Hemingway has written. I just did not care for his style of writing.
Suzanne Williams is a native Floridian, wife, and mother, with a penchant for spelling anything, who happens to love photography.
User avatar
scw1217
Lexiterian
 
Posts: 258
Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2005 7:50 am
Location: Florida, USA

Postby skinem » Fri May 18, 2007 5:21 pm

scw1217 wrote:
gailr wrote:Ahhh, the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. Also I love the bad Hemingway contests. They are good.


I read Hemingway once and couldn't get into his style of character conversation. It seemed unnatural and choppy to me. In any case, I've not heard of the bad Hemingway contest. In light of my opinion of Hemingway, they are either really bad or much better. :D


Thanks for the B-W link!
Unnatural and choppy?
Hemingway?
No. Natural and choppy. Mostly men speaking. REAL men thought Hemingway wordy. His characters used words. Didn't grunt and point. His characters spoke briefly. They spoke directly. They spoke true. They spoke this way before fighting for their country. Or fishing. Or hunting, or maybe drinking. When drinking they spoke briefly and true. Again.

Sorry...I think I was channeling there for a minute...
User avatar
skinem
Grand Panjandrum
 
Posts: 1197
Joined: Thu Apr 27, 2006 4:33 pm
Location: Middle Tennessee

Postby scw1217 » Fri May 18, 2007 5:41 pm

skinem wrote:Thanks for the B-W link!
Unnatural and choppy?
Hemingway?
No. Natural and choppy. Mostly men speaking. REAL men thought Hemingway wordy. His characters used words. Didn't grunt and point. His characters spoke briefly. They spoke directly. They spoke true. They spoke this way before fighting for their country. Or fishing. Or hunting, or maybe drinking. When drinking they spoke briefly and true. Again.

Sorry...I think I was channeling there for a minute...


LOL. Channel on. It was the "briefly, directly" I did not like. I kept thinking, "No one talks like that."
Suzanne Williams is a native Floridian, wife, and mother, with a penchant for spelling anything, who happens to love photography.
User avatar
scw1217
Lexiterian
 
Posts: 258
Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2005 7:50 am
Location: Florida, USA

Postby gailr » Fri May 18, 2007 8:52 pm

skinem wrote:Unnatural and choppy?
Hemingway?
No. Natural and choppy. Mostly men speaking. REAL men thought Hemingway wordy. His characters used words. Didn't grunt and point. His characters spoke briefly. They spoke directly. They spoke true. They spoke this way before fighting for their country. Or fishing. Or hunting, or maybe drinking. When drinking they spoke briefly and true. Again.

Sorry...I think I was channeling there for a minute...

Very nice, skinem! For the unsure, there's a javascript generator (with a link to three chapters of an inactive Bad Hemingway story) to help find your inner Heming. This is one site. There are others.

It is written with gusto. It is written for laughs and the joy that comes from bad writing.

The writers of "A Bad Hemingway Story" struggle with the short sentences and the runon sentences and the pointless but rich descriptions for that is what writers of Bad Hemingway must do.

They write. They use email lists to write. They use the keyboard and the mouse. But most of all they write.
User avatar
gailr
Grand Panjandrum
 
Posts: 1945
Joined: Tue Mar 15, 2005 11:40 am

Postby scw1217 » Sat May 19, 2007 9:05 am

Thanks for that link, gailr. Though I did not read it all, I can say it was truly "Bad Hemingway"!
Suzanne Williams is a native Floridian, wife, and mother, with a penchant for spelling anything, who happens to love photography.
User avatar
scw1217
Lexiterian
 
Posts: 258
Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2005 7:50 am
Location: Florida, USA

Postby Stargzer » Sun May 20, 2007 2:42 am

gailr wrote: ...

Hemingway did have his eloquent moments:
They wrote in the old days that it is sweet and fitting to die for one’s country. But in modern war, there is nothing sweet nor fitting in your dying. You will die like a dog for no good reason. ― Ernest Hemingway


Hmmm. I wonder when Hemingway wrote that; it almost sounds like he's quoting from Wilfred Owens' Dulce Et Decorum Est, but maybe he, too, was quoting Horace.

Wikipedia says the poem was written in 1917 but published posthumously in 1921.
Regards//Larry

"To preserve liberty, it is essential that the whole body of the people always possess arms, and be taught alike, especially when young, how to use them."
-- Attributed to Richard Henry Lee
User avatar
Stargzer
Grand Panjandrum
 
Posts: 2551
Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 3:56 pm
Location: Crownsville, MD


Return to Res Diversae

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

cron