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wordy?

Postby Bailey » Mon Dec 17, 2007 4:38 pm

The Washington Post Contest
Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v..), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n .) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.


The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are last year's winners:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.


2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.


3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.


4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.


5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.


6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.


7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.


8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit..)


9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.


10 Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.


11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.


12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.


13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.


14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.


15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.


I loved the oyster...

mark hip-a-tite Bailey

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Postby gailr » Mon Dec 17, 2007 6:17 pm

I liked negligent.

(Urban legend has it that variations on this are the only sure-fire ways to permanently discourage certain persistent door-to-door religion salesmen.)
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Postby melissa » Tue Dec 18, 2007 12:00 am

Bailey, these are always worth a chuckle and a grimace.
Chuckles: 4,5,7,10, 13, 14, and last year's 1, 8, and maybe 9 and 7. But I'm using oyster.
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Postby Perry » Tue Dec 18, 2007 11:47 am

In the Invitational Category

Ratalogue - a treatise on the migratory habits of rats.

Bolodex - a circular storage device for organizing bolo ties.

Sinvitation - an offer to acompany one home to view his etchings.

Dictionairy - breezy conversaton.


In the Neologism Category

punjab - a frequent activity on the Alpha Agora

crescent wrench - a tool for removing overbaked, and undershortened baked goods from the baking sheet.
"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once. Lately it hasn't been working."
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Postby sluggo » Tue Dec 18, 2007 1:51 pm

My boss faves are pokemon and sarchasm. Great list!

And of course punjab, though I've never noticed any of that around here...
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Postby Bailey » Tue Dec 18, 2007 4:29 pm

undershortened, lol

mB

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Postby gailr » Tue Dec 18, 2007 8:02 pm

Perry wrote:crescent wrench - a tool for removing overbaked, and undershortened baked goods from the baking sheet.

Oh, Perry. Avoid undershortening with Imperial, not metric...
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Postby Perry » Wed Dec 19, 2007 10:59 am

Surely you don't think that I have ever burned biscuits? (I do love the local bluegrass band The Biscuit Burners, however.)
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Postby Stargzer » Fri Dec 21, 2007 12:26 am

Stargzer is Flabbergasted and Abdicated. As to Sinvitation, he did take printmaking lo these many years ago in college, but Perry isn't his type. I'll bring some of my etchings for Gailr if I ever get to visit our Denver Regional Office.

:twisted:

I'm sure she'll be an even harsher critic than Bruce "The Bastard" Elliott ever was. :D
Regards//Larry

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Postby gailr » Fri Dec 21, 2007 1:14 am

Etchings. Schmetchings. A sculpture prof used to sneer at the "flat people".


awkword (n)
A word that is difficult to pronounce.

anecdotage (n)
Anecdotal dotage; that advanced age where all one does is relate stories about "the good old days." (The Oxford English Dictionary lists this word--defining it as "garrulous old age"--and has a citation dating back to 1835!)

irritainment (n)
Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. e.g. Professional wresting. Or politcal debates.

slackademic (n)
A perpetual student who prefers the safety and comfort of academic life over the trials and tribulations of the real world.
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Postby Bailey » Fri Dec 21, 2007 8:18 am

irritainment (n)
Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. e.g. Professional wresting. Or politcal debates.

Reality TV, anything on Court TV.

mark keeping-the-record-straight Bailey

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