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Group Poem Exercise

Posted: Fri Feb 12, 2010 6:20 pm
by saparris
OK. Here are the rules. We will write a sonnet as a group. I will supply the title and the first line. Each successive poster will copy the existing title and lines, paste them into a reply, and add one line.

There should be no more than three posts per person (unless there are too few participants), and no one can post two lines in succession. If the meter or rhyme is incorrect, anyone can post a “fix meter” or “fix rhyme” request, and it will be the writer’s responsibility to do so.

The format will be that of an Italian sonnet, which contain 14 lines of iambic pentameter and rhymes ABBA ABBA CDE CDE. Iambic pentameter has five stressed syllables, each preceded by an unstressed one. (e.g., u s u s u s u s u s). Half rhymes (like rest and east) are acceptable if you get stuck or if it makes the line make sense.

The following is an example.

When I consider how my light is spent
John Milton

When I consider how my light is spent, (A)
Ere half my days, in this dark world and wide, (B)
And that one talent which is death to hide (B)
Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent (A)
To serve therewith my Maker, and present (A)
My true account, lest He returning chide, (B)
"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?" (B)
I fondly ask; But patience, to prevent (A)
That murmur, soon replies "God doth not need (C)
Either man's work or his own gifts. Who best (D)
Bear His mild yoke, they serve Him best. His state (E)
Is kingly: thousands at His bidding speed (C)
And post o'er land and ocean without rest; (D)
They also serve who only stand and wait." (E)

(The first and third lines of each stanza “Amazing Grace” are also in iambic pentameter.)

Title and first line are as follows:

Cellular Blues
They cut my mobile phone off yesterday

Posted: Fri Feb 12, 2010 7:52 pm
by LukeJavan8
Too complicated for this poem-starved non-poet.

Re: Group Poem Exercise

Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 8:23 am
by Audiendus
Cellular Blues
They cut my mobile phone off yesterday;
I sit bereft, and brood upon my loss.

Re: Group Poem Exercise

Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 12:58 pm
by LukeJavan8
Cellular Blues
They cut my mobile phone off yesterday;
I sit bereft, and brood upon my loss
At night I lie abed and turn and toss

Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 4:36 pm
by saparris
They cut my mobile phone off yesterday
I sit bereft, and brood upon my loss
At night I lie abed and turn and toss
I cannot roam because I could not pay

Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 7:00 pm
by LukeJavan8
They cut my mobile phone off yesterday
I sit bereft, and brood upon my loss
At night I lie abed and turn and toss
I cannot roam because I could not pay
And sleep won't come to me so here I lay

Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 7:13 pm
by saparris
They cut my mobile phone off yesterday
I sit bereft, and brood upon my loss
At night I lie abed and turn and toss
I cannot roam because I could not pay
And sleep won't come to me so here I lay
Beside my phone--a wireless albatross

Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 7:24 pm
by LukeJavan8
They cut my mobile phone off yesterday
I sit bereft, and brood upon my loss
At night I lie abed and turn and toss
I cannot roam because I could not pay
And sleep won't come to me so here I lay
Beside my phone--a wireless albatross
It lay stone dead inert but for green moss

Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 8:56 pm
by Audiendus
They cut my mobile phone off yesterday
I sit bereft, and brood upon my loss
At night I lie abed and turn and toss
I cannot roam because I could not pay
And sleep won't come to me so here I lay
Beside my phone--a wireless albatross
It lay stone dead inert but for green moss
And yet I shrink from casting it away.

Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 9:10 pm
by LukeJavan8
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They cut my mobile phone off yesterday
I sit bereft, and brood upon my loss
At night I lie abed and turn and toss
I cannot roam because I could not pay
And sleep won't come to me so here I lay
Beside my phone--a wireless albatross
It lay stone dead inert but for green moss
And yet I shrink from casting it away.
The ringtone still remains a lullaby

Posted: Sat Feb 20, 2010 12:26 pm
by Audiendus
They cut my mobile phone off yesterday
I sit bereft, and brood upon my loss
At night I lie abed and turn and toss
I cannot roam because I could not pay
And sleep won't come to me so here I lay
Beside my phone--a wireless albatross
It lay stone dead inert but for green moss
And yet I shrink from casting it away.
The ringtone still remains a lullaby
No longer functional but still divine

Posted: Sat Feb 20, 2010 12:30 pm
by LukeJavan8
They cut my mobile phone off yesterday
I sit bereft, and brood upon my loss
At night I lie abed and turn and toss
I cannot roam because I could not pay
And sleep won't come to me so here I lay
Beside my phone--a wireless albatross
It lay stone dead inert but for green moss
And yet I shrink from casting it away.
The ringtone still remains a lullaby
No longer functional but still divine
I ponder how I became so in love

Posted: Sun Feb 21, 2010 4:52 pm
by saparris
They cut my mobile phone off yesterday
I sit bereft, and brood upon my loss
At night I lie abed and turn and toss
I cannot roam because I could not pay
And sleep won't come to me so here I lay
Beside my phone--a wireless albatross
It lay stone dead inert but for green moss
And yet I shrink from casting it away.
The ringtone still remains a lullaby
No longer functional but still divine
I ponder how I fell so much in love
With something that I now must bid good-bye

p.s. changed the "I ponder...." line a bit for the sake of meter)

Posted: Sun Feb 21, 2010 10:27 pm
by Audiendus
They cut my mobile phone off yesterday
I sit bereft, and brood upon my loss
At night I lie abed and turn and toss
I cannot roam because I could not pay
And sleep won't come to me so here I lay
Beside my phone--a wireless albatross
It lay stone dead inert but for green moss
And yet I shrink from casting it away.
The ringtone still remains a lullaby
No longer functional but still divine
I ponder how I fell so much in love
With something that I now must bid good-bye
Henceforth I will communicate online

Posted: Mon Feb 22, 2010 8:50 am
by saparris
Cellular Blues

They cut my mobile phone off yesterday
I sit bereft, and brood upon my loss
At night I lie abed and turn and toss
I cannot roam because I could not pay
And sleep won't come to me so here I lay
Beside my phone--a wireless albatross
It lay stone dead inert but for green moss
And yet I shrink from casting it away
The ringtone still remains a lullaby
No longer functional but still divine
I ponder how I fell so much in love
With something that I now must bid good-bye
Henceforth I will communicate online
And write group poems--like the one above

(That's all folks. Enjoyed it)