Group Poem Exercise IX

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Audiendus
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Postby Audiendus » Sun Aug 07, 2011 3:23 pm

THE APPLE FALLS

The genes that crawled prenatal from my parental tête-à-tête
(As Dawkins, by a modern test, has sought to demonstrate)
Encumbered my frail spirit like some sweeping, numb decree
From start to end, cast iron laws constrained my destiny
My genes for looks and talent are but latent, if at all
My artist traits are strait in range, my music gifts are small
My shameless wife now hassles me for being short and fat
But what's the point of getting angered and enraged by that?
These traits are just my heritagethe imagery thereof
By Fate's determination fixed (I mentioned art above)
So though I look like sturgeon that some nurse got from the sea
I have a heart of caviar, a vicar said to me
I might not be at ease with what I see in mirrored glass
But I've become phlegmatic since this sad plight came to pass
I care not, in the end, to win some race for style or flair
So God be praised—I'll love my genes, as Pride transcends Despair.

Another triple anagram to round the poem off. :)

saparris
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Postby saparris » Sun Aug 07, 2011 3:47 pm

Great ending! It's a microcosm of the entire poem!
Ars longa, vita brevis

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Slava
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Postby Slava » Sun Aug 07, 2011 9:31 pm

As ever, a wonder to watch you folks create these things. Would that I had the aptitude to join in. Sigh.

Wasn't it supposed to be 14 lines, though?
Life is like playing chess with chessmen who each have thoughts and feelings and motives of their own.

saparris
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Postby saparris » Sun Aug 07, 2011 11:25 pm

Thanks, Slava. It's just as wondrous from the playing field. You never know what's going to happen until...well...it just happens!

And, yes, it was going to be 14 lines, but we needed a few more to bring it to a sensible ending. I posted a reference to the change at about line 13. No extra charge for lines 15 and 16.
Ars longa, vita brevis

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Slava
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Postby Slava » Mon Aug 08, 2011 12:57 am

No complaints from this quarter on any extras. They worked out quite well. I missed the bit about the addition as I tend to read just the new lines, not the whole thing.

An extra kudo (sic) or so to Audiendus for his triples, too. Nice work.
Life is like playing chess with chessmen who each have thoughts and feelings and motives of their own.

LukeJavan8
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Postby LukeJavan8 » Wed Aug 10, 2011 11:45 am

Saparris.....what happened to your avatar?
-----please, draw me a sheep-----

LukeJavan8
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Postby LukeJavan8 » Wed Aug 10, 2011 11:46 am

Great ending! It's a microcosm of the entire poem!

Absolutely, and just like me to find it, even after you
mentioned it in an email, as it concludes.
-----please, draw me a sheep-----

saparris
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Postby saparris » Wed Aug 10, 2011 4:31 pm

Saparris.....what happened to your avatar?
I don't know what happened to my avatar. Originally, I had the avatar in Picasa Web Albums, and it worked fine. That's where yours was, too. Then I got a g-mail account and the avatar disappeared on the forum (along with yours).

Slava put mine and yours back at one point, but mine is gone again, and every time I try to put it back, I get a message saying the URL is not valid.

I'll figure something out.
Ars longa, vita brevis

LukeJavan8
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Postby LukeJavan8 » Wed Aug 10, 2011 4:48 pm

All of which, you understand, means nothing to me.
I hope you find it - I like the pen nub: it fit you.
-----please, draw me a sheep-----


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