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Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 9:51 am
by saparris
The Political Jungle (A Polysemous Menagerie)

The thought of party politics is difficult to bear
The asses and the elephants give everyone a scare
They carp at their opponents till the watching voters quail
And parrot useless platitudes they learned at Kent or Yale

They duck the awkward questions that their interviewers pose
Then badger other candidates with panoplies of woes
When diligent reporters ferret out their feet of clay
They monkey with the microphones and look the other way

The doves and hawks (or Wets and Dries, as Mrs. Thatcher said)
Will fish for voters everywhere (both living ones and dead)
They gull minorities with the pretence of shared ideals
While fawning over wealthy folk when making cash appeals

Ex-statesmen sell their know-how to incorporated sharks
Or weasel million-dollar fees for asinine remarks
The losers in this cut-throat game write books to settle scores
The winners play more cat and mouse behind their chamber doors

Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 3:40 pm
by Audiendus
The Political Jungle (A Polysemous Menagerie)

The thought of party politics is difficult to bear
The asses and the elephants give everyone a scare
They carp at their opponents till the watching voters quail
And parrot useless platitudes they learned at Kent or Yale

They duck the awkward questions that their interviewers pose
Then badger other candidates with panoplies of woes
When diligent reporters ferret out their feet of clay
They monkey with the microphones and look the other way

The doves and hawks (or Wets and Dries, as Mrs. Thatcher said)
Will fish for voters everywhere (both living ones and dead)
They gull minorities with the pretence of shared ideals
While fawning over wealthy folk when making cash appeals

Ex-statesmen sell their know-how to incorporated sharks
Or weasel million-dollar fees for asinine remarks
The losers in this cut-throat game write books to settle scores
The winners play more cat and mouse behind their chamber doors

A few outrageous mavericks with mammoth self-regard

Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 9:31 pm
by saparris
The Political Jungle (A Polysemous Menagerie)

The thought of party politics is difficult to bear
The asses and the elephants give everyone a scare
They carp at their opponents till the watching voters quail
And parrot useless platitudes they learned at Kent or Yale

They duck the awkward questions that their interviewers pose
Then badger other candidates with panoplies of woes
When diligent reporters ferret out their feet of clay
They monkey with the microphones and look the other way

The doves and hawks (or Wets and Dries, as Mrs. Thatcher said)
Will fish for voters everywhere (both living ones and dead)
They gull minorities with the pretence of shared ideals
While fawning over wealthy folk when making cash appeals

Ex-statesmen sell their know-how to incorporated sharks
Or weasel million-dollar fees for asinine remarks
The losers in this cut-throat game write books to settle scores
The winners play more cat and mouse behind the chamber doors

A few outrageous mavericks with mammoth self-regard
Will snake into another term—unscathed, untouched, unmarred

Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 7:15 am
by Audiendus
The Political Jungle (A Polysemous Menagerie)

The thought of party politics is difficult to bear
The asses and the elephants give everyone a scare
They carp at their opponents till the watching voters quail
And parrot useless platitudes they learned at Kent or Yale

They duck the awkward questions that their interviewers pose
Then badger other candidates with panoplies of woes
When diligent reporters ferret out their feet of clay
They monkey with the microphones and look the other way

The doves and hawks (or Wets and Dries, as Mrs. Thatcher said)
Will fish for voters everywhere (both living ones and dead)
They gull minorities with the pretence of shared ideals
While fawning over wealthy folk when making cash appeals

Ex-statesmen sell their know-how to incorporated sharks
Or weasel million-dollar fees for asinine remarks
The losers in this cut-throat game write books to settle scores
The winners play more cat and mouse behind the chamber doors

A few outrageous mavericks with mammoth self-regard
Will snake into another term—unscathed, untouched, unmarred
But craven types who say "aye-aye" to please their party boss

Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 9:25 am
by saparris
The Political Jungle (A Polysemous Menagerie)

The thought of party politics is difficult to bear
The asses and the elephants give everyone a scare
They carp at their opponents till the watching voters quail
And parrot useless platitudes they learned at Kent or Yale

They duck the awkward questions that their interviewers pose
Then badger other candidates with panoplies of woes
When diligent reporters ferret out their feet of clay
They monkey with the microphones and look the other way

The doves and hawks (or Wets and Dries, as Mrs. Thatcher said)
Will fish for voters everywhere (both living ones and dead)
They gull minorities with the pretence of shared ideals
While fawning over wealthy folk when making cash appeals

Ex-statesmen sell their know-how to incorporated sharks
Or weasel million-dollar fees for asinine remarks
The losers in this cut-throat game write books to settle scores
The winners play more cat and mouse behind the chamber doors

A few outrageous mavericks with mammoth self-regard
Will snake into another term—unscathed, untouched, unmarred
But craven types who say "aye-aye" to please their party boss
Are apes du jour of justice and, inasmuch, its loss

Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 4:22 pm
by Audiendus
That makes 20 lines, but I think we need something to round the poem off. So I suggest a final couplet, the first line of which is given below.

The Political Jungle (A Polysemous Menagerie)

The thought of party politics is difficult to bear
The asses and the elephants give everyone a scare
They carp at their opponents till the watching voters quail
And parrot useless platitudes they learned at Kent or Yale

They duck the awkward questions that their interviewers pose
Then badger other candidates with panoplies of woes
When diligent reporters ferret out their feet of clay
They monkey with the microphones and look the other way

The doves and hawks (or Wets and Dries, as Mrs. Thatcher said)
Will fish for voters everywhere (both living ones and dead)
They gull minorities with the pretence of shared ideals
While fawning over wealthy folk when making cash appeals

Ex-statesmen sell their know-how to incorporated sharks
Or weasel million-dollar fees for asinine remarks
The losers in this cut-throat game write books to settle scores
The winners play more cat and mouse behind the chamber doors

A few outrageous mavericks with mammoth self-regard
Will snake into another term—unscathed, untouched, unmarred
But craven types who say "aye-aye" to please their party boss
Are apes du jour of justice and, inasmuch, its loss

So let us hound the rogues who blight democracy's good name

Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 5:00 pm
by saparris
The Political Jungle (A Polysemous Menagerie)

The thought of party politics is difficult to bear
The asses and the elephants give everyone a scare
They carp at their opponents till the watching voters quail
And parrot useless platitudes they learned at Kent or Yale

They duck the awkward questions that their interviewers pose
Then badger other candidates with panoplies of woes
When diligent reporters ferret out their feet of clay
They monkey with the microphones and look the other way

The doves and hawks (or Wets and Dries, as Mrs. Thatcher said)
Will fish for voters everywhere (both living ones and dead)
They gull minorities with the pretence of shared ideals
While fawning over wealthy folk when making cash appeals

Ex-statesmen sell their know-how to incorporated sharks
Or weasel million-dollar fees for asinine remarks
The losers in this cut-throat game write books to settle scores
The winners play more cat and mouse behind the chamber doors

A few outrageous mavericks with mammoth self-regard
Will snake into another term—unscathed, untouched, unmarred
But craven types who say "aye-aye" to please their party boss
Are apes du jour of justice and, inasmuch, its loss

So let us hound the rogues who blight democracy's good name
Lest our great seals of government slide into mires of shame

Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 7:26 pm
by Audiendus
Amen! :D

Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 6:36 am
by saparris
Enjoyed horsing around with this one, Audi.

Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 9:33 am
by Audiendus
Thanks. By the way, what are "apes du jour"? Google reveals only one instance of this phrase.

Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 11:17 am
by saparris
I made it up to suggest the most common type of politician.

apes du jour

Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 12:13 pm
by Audiendus
Interesting. A 2008 post on a website entitled "Smoking Mirrors" contains the following sentence:
It doesn't matter if these individuals [i.e. corporate leaders] have all used the same secret handshake for a thousand years or if they are just the most ruthless apes du jour, the result is the same.
Coincidence?

Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 12:15 pm
by Slava
Congratulations, Gents. Another wonderful job.

Mind if I send it to my local paper to see if they'll print it?

Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 5:33 pm
by Perry Lassiter
A hearty round of applause for all!

Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 6:53 pm
by Audiendus
Congratulations, Gents. Another wonderful job.

Mind if I send it to my local paper to see if they'll print it?
Thanks. No problem. 8)