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Love, Olympic Style

[He]
Your eyes are like the stars, my love, or an Olympic flame
Your hair is like the nations' flags that stream atop the stands
But where on earth did you acquire a male weightlifter's frame?
A chest that billows like a yachtsman's sail when it expands?

[She]
Yes, I, my sweet, was dainty—as a gymnast tends to be,
Slender and agile, reminiscent of a vaulter's pole
Until some wretched coxswain "made a woman" out of me
While high on drugs that no athletic body can control.

[He]
What hurdles, dear, you must have jumped while "in the family way"
From when the starter fired the shot until you held the gold!
'Twas upsy baby downsy baby with each leap and splay!
Your child could trampoline when he was minus two months old.

[She]
The jumps it made were not so bad, but the dismounts were a bitch
And when it learned to take free kicks, the shooting pains grew worse
They felt a lot like javelins and made my bladder twitch
And now I'm shapeless, as you mentioned in the opening verse.

["Opening" as in "opening ceremony"]

Love, Olympic Style

[He]
Your eyes are like the stars, my love, or an Olympic flame
Your hair is like the nations' flags that stream atop the stands
But where on earth did you acquire a male weightlifter's frame?
A chest that billows like a yachtsman's sail when it expands?

[She]
Yes, I, my sweet, was dainty—as a gymnast tends to be,
Slender and agile, reminiscent of a vaulter's pole
Until some wretched coxswain "made a woman" out of me
While high on drugs that no athletic body can control.

[He]
What hurdles, dear, you must have jumped while "in the family way"
From when the starter fired the shot until you held the gold!
'Twas upsy baby downsy baby with each leap and splay!
Your child could trampoline when he was minus two months old.

[She]
The jumps it made were not so bad, but the dismounts were a bitch
And when it learned to take free kicks, the shooting pains grew worse
They felt a lot like javelins and made my bladder twitch
And now I'm shapeless, as you mentioned in the opening verse.

[They, Alternating Lines, He then She]
For that, my tongue should be removed with epee or with foil

Love, Olympic Style

[He]
Your eyes are like the stars, my love, or an Olympic flame
Your hair is like the nations' flags that stream atop the stands
But where on earth did you acquire a male weightlifter's frame?
A chest that billows like a yachtsman's sail when it expands?

[She]
Yes, I, my sweet, was dainty—as a gymnast tends to be,
Slender and agile, reminiscent of a vaulter's pole
Until some wretched coxswain "made a woman" out of me
While high on drugs that no athletic body can control.

[He]
What hurdles, dear, you must have jumped while "in the family way"
From when the starter fired the shot until you held the gold!
'Twas upsy baby downsy baby with each leap and splay!
Your child could trampoline when he was minus two months old.

[She]
The jumps it made were not so bad, but the dismounts were a bitch
And when it learned to take free kicks, the shooting pains grew worse
They felt a lot like javelins and made my bladder twitch
And now I'm shapeless, as you mentioned in the opening verse.

[They, Alternating Lines, He then She]
For that, my tongue should be removed with epee or with foil
A breaststroke and a backstroke will placate me, dearest one!

Love, Olympic Style

[He]
Your eyes are like the stars, my love, or an Olympic flame
Your hair is like the nations' flags that stream atop the stands
But where on earth did you acquire a male weightlifter's frame?
A chest that billows like a yachtsman's sail when it expands?

[She]
Yes, I, my sweet, was dainty—as a gymnast tends to be,
Slender and agile, reminiscent of a vaulter's pole
Until some wretched coxswain "made a woman" out of me
While high on drugs that no athletic body can control.

[He]
What hurdles, dear, you must have jumped while "in the family way"
From when the starter fired the shot until you held the gold!
'Twas upsy baby downsy baby with each leap and splay!
Your child could trampoline when he was minus two months old.

[She]
The jumps it made were not so bad, but the dismounts were a bitch
And when it learned to take free kicks, the shooting pains grew worse
They felt a lot like javelins and made my bladder twitch
And now I'm shapeless, as you mentioned in the opening verse.

[They, Alternating Lines, He then She]
For that, my tongue should be removed with epee or with foil
A breaststroke and a backstroke will placate me, dearest one!
Then I shall rub, my butterfly—the front, the back, the whole

Love, Olympic Style

[He]
Your eyes are like the stars, my love, or an Olympic flame
Your hair is like the nations' flags that stream atop the stands
But where on earth did you acquire a male weightlifter's frame?
A chest that billows like a yachtsman's sail when it expands?

[She]
Yes, I, my sweet, was dainty—as a gymnast tends to be,
Slender and agile, reminiscent of a vaulter's pole
Until some wretched coxswain "made a woman" out of me
While high on drugs that no athletic body can control.

[He]
What hurdles, dear, you must have jumped while "in the family way"
From when the starter fired the shot until you held the gold!
'Twas upsy baby downsy baby with each leap and splay!
Your child could trampoline when he was minus two months old.

[She]
The jumps it made were not so bad, but the dismounts were a bitch
And when it learned to take free kicks, the shooting pains grew worse
They felt a lot like javelins and made my bladder twitch
And now I'm shapeless, as you mentioned in the opening verse.

[They, Alternating Lines, He then She]
For that, my tongue should be removed with epee or with foil
A breaststroke and a backstroke will placate me, dearest one!
Then I shall rub, my butterfly—the front, the back, the whole
Of course! Now, shall we marry? Let me introduce my son...

Good ending, Audiendus!

I began to worry about this poem after Verse One because I wasn't sure that it was sustainable through 20 lines, but I think it turned out to be a success.

A very enjoyable experience from the left side of the ocean.

Thank you.

I always find that iambic heptameter gives plenty of flexibility.

Most assuredly, not what I expected at all, at all. Lots of fun, and another smash hit from our poetic duo!

Kudos aplenty to the both of you. May you continue to grace this place with your presents, and presence.

Thanks, Slava. I suppose you could say that it wasn't what Audiendus and I expected either. I don't think we expect anything except a surprise with each new line. And that's a large part of the fun.