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An article from Information Week:

No Joke: Microsoft Seeks To Patent Verbs

Specifically, the software maker has developed a verb conjugating system aimed at aiding students studying a foreign language, and has applied to the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office for a patent.

Patent Application.

So as you can see, the headline is not exactly accurate, but when has that ever stopped anyone when it comes to bashing Microsoft?

They have their priorities all wrong. First they need to teach the Word grammar checker some grammar. Then they need to eliminate Mr. Paper Clip. (Hmm. It looks like you are trying to write a letter. Yeah yeah, very astute. Now let me get on with it as I have been writing letters since way before PCs came along. ) Then they can worry about conjugating verbs.

Actually teaching grammar and spelling is redundant. The Word, being the light of humanity and all that, automates these menial secretarial tasks. You can often see the marks of the New Grammar and New Spelling on letters from company temps — who's to quibble when the red worms and green snakes are banished from the GUI? In the beginning was the Word, so take out a kleenex and weep until you need to sellotape it back together. What's a word in world where your googled misspellings produce results — skype me about it!

— Garzo

Tim, can you please translate, thank you

mark true-luddite Bailey

What's a word in world where your googled misspellings produce results

Absolutely. In fact, what's all human knowledge when it can be Wiki-ed away into hitherto unimagined realms of wistful fantasy? Quote it and you get a cite for sore eyes, I guess.

As a matter of interest, Gonzo, did you ever try sellotaping a kleenex back together again? The sello works OK, but the tapey bits do tend to scrape the old snotbox something wicked.

'Scuse me...time to brush my bluetooth.

-- PW

. . . In the beginning was the Word, so take out a kleenex and weep until you need to sellotape it back together. What's a word in world where your googled misspellings produce results — skype me about it!

— Garzo

Padre, you're a bit off chronologically in citing John for word processors. The earliest one I remember being advertised was called The Electric Pencil, back in the days of the Intel 8080, when Microsoft's main product was a BASIC interpreter on paper tape that was widely pirated . . .


(Stargzer's wife marvels that he can remember such ancient bits of information yet cannot remember if he paid the bills.)

. . . Then they need to eliminate Mr. Paper Clip.

Actually, I think they did that a while ago, but you can disable him or replace him if you want.

. . . Then they need to eliminate Mr. Paper Clip.

Actually, I think they did that a while ago, but you can disable him or replace him if you want.

Not necessarily.
-gailr

Gail that was priceless!

The first thing i do with a new computer is disable Mr. Paperclip. It just annoys me that I have to go through the process.

I wated to locate a really funny momologue I saw on the paperclip, I didn't find it but this is pretty funny
Somewhere on this site is a paperclip clip.

mark do-not-delete Bailey
It's not the one I was looking for but....

Cute. (BTW, it seemed that the highly nicotined author was nictating in his frustration.)

Cute clip, Bailey.

When desktop publishing was in its infancy, a coworker got fed up with the constant screen prompt: looking for printer. As a joke, he picked up the mac, turned it to "look" next to itself instead of at us, and exclaimed, "It's right there! The same place it has been every time before!"

-gailr
ps: it didn't help.

I see I made several stupid typos yet no one commented, Thank you my mind is a bit off due to my mother's passing. Now it's not so much the death that's giving me fits it's the funeral, blah,blah, blah. "No, we can't have the service on Friday because I have to come on my day off, and by-the-way, I want All her stuff...." sigh sorry for the off topic

mark getting-too-old-for-funerals Bailey

Mark,

Sorry to hear the sad news. My sincerest condolences!

Perry

Thanks Perry, so how would Microsoft state it? obsoleting my mom?

mark hasn't-hit-me-yet Bailey