Pun Times

[Huny]

Huny -who can remove my own stitches without so much as a flinch, but my palet is a little more discriminating.

Now you done gone and piqued [peaked? peeked?] my curiosity, Huny...
did you mean your palet
[n. 1. (Bot.) Same as Palea.
1. A small chafflike bract enclosing the flower of a grass.
2. The chaffy scales on the receptacle of a flower head in a plant of the composite family.]

your palate
Share St. John's passion for good food, devotion to friends and family, and zest for life. A Southern Palate is a mouth-watering and soul-satisfying treat that will satiate your hunger for food and so much more.

or your palette?

-gailr
hastily dons palettes to dodge Huny's rebuttal...

Oops! I guess I am human after all. I meant to type palate- the sense of taste. Typo. It's the brain and fingers not getting along thing. My fingers are mad at me for not getting a French manicure this week.
Oh, and lol's to your palettes link!!Good one!!
Air "head" Huny

[Bailey]

who can remove my own stitches without so much as a flinch,

I've removed stitches it's the staples I let the doctor do.

mark doesn't-flinch-anyway Bailey

[Perry]

who can remove my own stitches without so much as a flinch,

I've removed stitches it's the staples I let the doctor do.

mark doesn't-flinch-anyway Bailey

Me too. And let me tell you, my surgeon removes those staples at quite a clip.

[Huny]

who can remove my own stitches without so much as a flinch,

I've removed stitches it's the staples I let the doctor do.

mark doesn't-flinch-anyway Bailey

Me too. And let me tell you, my surgeon removes those staples at quite a clip.

I know you won't believe this, but my husband and I have removed two staples from my being once. That is trust! He had to take, what looked like to me, a pair of pointed wire clippers to do it. It was very painful. I won't be doing that again! I removed them because I realized I was allergic to the metal they use in the staples. I wanted them OUT! I'll just try to stay away from the whole "sewing me up business" all together from now on. When they did my dad's heart by-pass last month, they used that skin glue stuff instead of stitches or staples. It healed faster and the scar is less noticeable. I was shocked when I saw they used glue to hold his rib cage together! When he had colon cancer removed last October, they stapled him the whole way. My father looked like Frankenstein! The scar is bad, too.

[Bailey]

My mother had staples when she had her Angioplasty, it was scary and got infected, which is why she died.

mark I'm-allergic-to-staples-too-and-to-scalpels Bailey

[gailr]

Me too. And let me tell you, my surgeon removes those staples at quite a clip.

Does he rip surgical tape like a waxing strip, as well? eek.

I'll just try to stay away from the whole "sewing me up business" all together from now on. When they did my dad's heart by-pass last month, they used that skin glue stuff instead of stitches or staples. It healed faster and the scar is less noticeable. I was shocked when I saw they used glue to hold his rib cage together!

Avoiding injury requiring sutures sounds like a good plan, Huny! BTW, a friend whose father is a doctor says that super glue was used as a battlefield surgical adhesive in the 60's. [tappety tappety in google returns this]

-gailr

[Huny]

Avoiding injury requiring sutures sounds like a good plan, Huny! BTW, a friend whose father is a doctor says that super glue was used as a battlefield surgical adhesive in the 60's. [tappety tappety in google returns this]

-gailr

Great info in the link, gailr. Now I have put two and two together with the super glue. There will be no derma-bond for Huny after once trying to "unclog" a dratted tube of super glue using a needle and ending up squirting some of the junk onto my right cornea. It dried instantly and I was stuck with a blur when I looked at people a certain way. I loved the eye doctor's reaction when I went to him about this situation. After regaining his composure he said it would just have to wear off over time and, by gosh, it did- after a year. It can be dangerous and is not a toy--although the high you can get from the fumes is interesting.

[Bailey]

Huny, was this before or after you cut your finger off or was the glue For your fimnger?
lol sorry you are a real Calamity Jane
here's sompin for you to laugh at to forget your troubles

A sheriff walks into a saloon and shouts for everyone's attention. "Has anyone seen Brown Paper Jake?" he asks. "What's he look like?" asks one shoddy-looking cowboy.

"Well," replies the Sheriff, "he wears a brown paper hat, a brown paper waistcoat, a brown paper shirt, brown paper boots, brown paper pants and a brown paper jacket."

"So what's he wanted for?" asks the same cowboy.

"Rustlin'," says the sheriff.

mark the-only-rustlin'-I-do-is-fer-dinner Bailey

[Huny]

Huny, was this before or after you cut your finger off or was the glue For your fimnger?
lol sorry you are a real Calamity Jane
here's sompin for you to laugh at to forget your troubles

A sheriff walks into a saloon and shouts for everyone's attention. "Has anyone seen Brown Paper Jake?" he asks. "What's he look like?" asks one shoddy-looking cowboy.

"Well," replies the Sheriff, "he wears a brown paper hat, a brown paper waistcoat, a brown paper shirt, brown paper boots, brown paper pants and a brown paper jacket."

"So what's he wanted for?" asks the same cowboy.

"Rustlin'," says the sheriff.

mark the-only-rustlin'-I-do-is-fer-dinner Bailey

Bailey, you have the cutest jokes! No, the finger cuttin' and the super glue slingin' happened many years apart.

Huny- who-wonders-which-appendage-is-next

[Bailey]

huny, here's another:

After returning to the building site from purchasing supplies at the local hardware shop, the foreman addressed his workmen and delegated the day's duties.

"Tom, take Jim and Chris down and finish digging out the drainage ditch. Bill, keep running the electricity leads, and Wong, you're in charge of the supplies."

The men went about their designated duties, and it wasn't until some hours later that the foreman realised that the supplies were still in the back of the truck. Not seeing Wong anywhere around, the foreman went in search of his wayward worker.

Just as the foreman had given up hope, Wong jumped out from behind a drum and yelled, "SUPPLIES!"

mark not-prejudiced,-honest Bailey

[skinem]

An orchestra was performing Beethoven's Ninth Symphony. There is a long stretch in the symphony where the basses don't have anything to do. So they were allowed to go backstage during this time. When they got backstage, one suggested that they go to a bar across the street. After a couple beers, one player said they should go back. But another player said that he had tied a string around the last few pages of the conductor's score. That way, they would have a little extra time. Finally, after a couple more drinks, the bass players went back to the symphony. But they could tell right away that they were in trouble. It was the bottom of the Ninth, the basses were loaded and the score was tied.

[sluggo]

Should have dropped this in earlier but...

who can remove my own stitches without so much as a flinch,

- - Suture-self!

[Huny]

Should have dropped this in earlier but...

who can remove my own stitches without so much as a flinch,

- - Suture-self!

sluggo, good one, you had me in stitches!! If I had the right stuff to stitch my own finger, I would have done it myself. I was very disappointed to see I went all the way to the emergency room, got to see the p.a. pretty quick by any hospitals standards, and she got 'er done in less than a minute and then slapped me with a pretty large bill for all my trouble.

[Perry]

huny, here's another:

After returning to the building site from purchasing supplies at the local hardware shop, the foreman addressed his workmen and delegated the day's duties.

"Tom, take Jim and Chris down and finish digging out the drainage ditch. Bill, keep running the electricity leads, and Wong, you're in charge of the supplies."

The men went about their designated duties, and it wasn't until some hours later that the foreman realised that the supplies were still in the back of the truck. Not seeing Wong anywhere around, the foreman went in search of his wayward worker.

Just as the foreman had given up hope, Wong jumped out from behind a drum and yelled, "SUPPLIES!"

mark not-prejudiced,-honest Bailey

Mark -Oh-Punster-of-Ours Bailey,

Did it escape your notice that I recounted virtually the same joke on page 2 of this thread?

Perry not-upset-but-wanting-to-keep-the-record-straight Dror

[gailr]

If I had the right stuff to stitch my own finger, I would have done it myself.

I once had a roommate--a "real" cowgirl--who went out of her way to live up/down/sideways/whichever to stereotype. She fell down some steps after tying one on during a holiday and we noticed she was unnaturally quiet for a couple days. Turned out she had broken her front teeth on the cement and didn't see the point of raising a fuss until normal dentist hours resumed.

About a year later she was "self-medicating" in her room and suddenly asked to borrow my pliers. I didn't think to ask why...I just handed them over. Turns out one of her molars had abscessed and she didn't see the point of paying a dentist.

This was when I accepted that I am a city girl, despite my breeding. I do not have what it takes to live in the wilderness with nothing but a bottle of tequila and a pair of pliers.

gailr
who has sold her soul to corporate america for health insurance