Patronising male nurses & Do you find undergrounds mater

[Garzo]

Tonight on the local telly news, a senior male nurse was interviewed about measures to ensure infirm patients were assisted at meal times to prevent malnutrition. Anyway, his whizzy-graphic caption called him Matron. I rather balked at the idea of a male nurse holding such a title. Shouldn't the male equivalent be a Patron? Whereas the former conjures the image of a rather strict, but ultimately knowing what's good for you, mother figure, the latter makes me think of the most convivial barman/landlord, who will pull the pints while listening to your woe. Perhaps the NHS could do with more patrons.

Likewise, the Greek μητηρ (mētēr — mother), particularly its proclitic form μετρο- (metro-), has come to mean city in English. It is rather romantic when it is la Métro, a Parisian underground train, but not when it is Tesco Metro, the urban version of one the UK's largest supermarket chains. I started calling my local Tesco Metro "Tesco's your Mother" a few year's ago, and I've noticed people around me have adopted the phrase. It seems apt that the local source of sustenance is spoken of in maternal undertones.

Metrosexual: don't go there. Perhaps instead muse on the Freudian analysis of Thunderbirds 1 and 2.

— Patrogarzo.

[Bailey]

a boy called Matron, such are the pifalls of gender-bending.
metrosexuals Bah!

mark remembers-when-men-were-men-and-women-were glad-of-it Bailey

[Stargzer]

a boy called Matron, . . .

mark remembers-when-men-were-men-and-women-were glad-of-it Bailey

I smell the revival of a certain Johnny Cash song . . .

Hmmm, what rhymes with Matron? Baton? . . . we'd better not go there!

Should he be addressed as Mr. Matron, similar to Madame Chairman?

[gailr]

It's interesting when a gender-loaded term gets cavalierly applied to everyone, and it suddenly sounds odd to your side, isn't it?

-gailr

[Bailey]

It seems odd to my ears, my brain and dang it all my liver, but my side?

mark mystified Bailey

[Perry]

My kids watch Sponge Bob. There is a character that cracks me up. He is a retired superhero. Mermaid Man. His costume even has a little seashell brassiere.

[Palewriter]

It seems that this kind of chauvanistic nonsense has been dealt with before. airline stewardesses are now flight attendants, for example; waitresses are now servers.

But in order that a male caregiving supervisor should be described in the required testosterone-loaded terms, perhaps we should hand out some powertools and suggest some more up-to-date options: Senior Ward Manager, Chief Executive Bedpan Operator, or Director of Patient Wellness, to name but a few. This simple action would probably do wonders for the recruitment of male hospital staff.

"What do you do, Biff?"
(coughs on back of hand) "Me? I'm an Executive Wellness Operator, actually...."

it's simply a matter of titular, as it were, creativity. Right?

On a related, though less politically charged, note:

Practically every morning during my leisurely drive to work, I pass the local recycling center (which I used to call a rubbish dump). All too frequently, I'm overtaken by large, smelly trucks bearing the device "Waste Management". Such vehicles are apparently operated by NASCAR drivers manqué, passing me as they do at almost supersonic speeds. All too often, these carriers of management material leave behind them a dense and potentially lethal trail of flying plastic bags, empty food containers, leftover Big Macs and other detritus, which I'm assuming is part of some great strategic Waste Management plan. Jolly inconvenient, though, in my luxurious convertible, to get half a leftover Big Mac in the kisser.

When I was a kid, before Age of Efficiency, we had a rubbish man, who picked up all the little stuff, and a rag-and-bone man who came by weekly with a norse and cart and picked up the big stuff. While the management skills of these gentlemen may have left something to be desired, their skill in the area of cleaning up $hit and not leaving half of it in the road was exemplary.

-- PW

[gailr]

"What do you do, Biff?"
(coughs on back of hand) "Me? I'm an Executive Wellness Operator, actually...."

Very good suggestion. Additionally, this entitles Biff to a salary significantly higher than that of the passé matron.

When I was a kid, before Age of Efficiency, we had a rubbish man, who picked up all the little stuff, and a rag-and-bone man who came by weekly with a norse and cart and picked up the big stuff. -- PW

Wow, those quaint old world customs...

I weep(!) that you have been reduced to convertible driving in a Norse-less Texas, dodging partially-consumed Big Macs(TM)...

-gailr

who thoroughly enjoys the excellent typos of others, oh yes she does!

[Stargzer]

. . . On a related, though less politically charged, note:
. . .
When I was a kid, before Age of Efficiency, we had a rubbish man, who picked up all the little stuff, and a rag-and-bone man who came by weekly with a norse and cart and picked up the big stuff. While the management skills of these gentlemen may have left something to be desired, their skill in the area of cleaning up $hit and not leaving half of it in the road was exemplary.

-- PW

So he had a big blonde-haired guy pulling the cart?

[Palewriter]

So he had a big blonde-haired guy pulling the cart?

Yeah, yeah. Well, I thought it was funny, anyway.


Don't cry for me, gailr. (Palewriter bursts into a naria, even though the line doesn't really scan....)

-- PW

[sluggo]

... with a norse and cart and picked up the big stuff. -- PW

Wow, those quaint old world customs...

-gailr

who thoroughly enjoys the excellent typos of others, oh yes she does!

Olaf if you want to (or Saab with disdain)
It Sven typos inVolv,o Olgail gits 'em down (pr. "Dane")
Oslo down, but if thou mistype, don't be Thor
Ve're Viking these gaffes- Swedens Leif all the more.
(Bergen Shave) Take it off- take it all off with NoEczema medicated skin cream...

[Bailey]

Olaf if you want to (or Saab with disdain)
It Sven typos inVolv,o Olgail gits 'em down (pr. "Dane")
Oslo down, but if thou mistype, don't be Thor
Ve're Viking these gaffes- Swedens Leif all the more.
(Bergen Shave) Take it off- take it all off with NoEczema medicated skin cream...

Excellent, I remember route 66 and all the signs that kept us kids busy, Love it

mark laughing Bailey

[Stargzer]

I don't think I ever saw any Burma Shave signs in their natural habitat, but I do remember an old Mad Magazine version:

Empty beer cans
Shining bright
Safely light
The way at night.
Burma Shave.

'Twas accompanied by an illustration of beer cans by the side of the road reflecting the light from the headlights of an approaching car.

"What do you do, Biff?"
(coughs on back of hand) "Me? I'm an Executive Wellness Operator, actually...."

Alas, he can no longer try to fake out his inquisitor by saying he's a Vietnam War-era EWO . . .

[Bailey]

Larry, you never had a dad who dragged you out of bed at 3am to tour Route 66? I'm so Jealous!

mark homebody-by-choice-chromosomal-nomad Bailey

[skinem]

Bailey, we must be brothers from another mother...
I think we started every trip at 3 a.m. so we could "beat the heat" and stop early. Of course, the sights then tend to look alike...dark.
One benefit was that I learned many constellations by laying on the shelf above the back seat staring up at the night sky...and learned what is meant by "false dawn".

I did see some Burma Shave signs...by headlight.