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20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

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20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

Postby scw1217 » Sun Jul 01, 2007 9:40 pm

These off topic for this site, but incredibly funny!!

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it 'In'.

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Smuggling Diamonds'.

7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The
Prophecy'.

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a
serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The
Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.

Its Called ... therapy.
Suzanne Williams is a native Floridian, wife, and mother, with a penchant for spelling anything, who happens to love photography.
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Postby Perry » Mon Jul 02, 2007 9:44 am

I have actually done number 10, more than once. Usually this is after several other diners have ordered diet coke.

As for number 19, my father used to tell my brother, "you can easily be replaced by a trained spider monkey".
"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once. Lately it hasn't been working."
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Postby scw1217 » Mon Jul 02, 2007 7:28 pm

Perry wrote:I have actually done number 10, more than once. Usually this is after several other diners have ordered diet coke.

As for number 19, my father used to tell my brother, "you can easily be replaced by a trained spider monkey".


The person who sent it to me is a teacher and said they were going to try #2. She couldn't quit laughing at the mental image it was giving her.
Suzanne Williams is a native Floridian, wife, and mother, with a penchant for spelling anything, who happens to love photography.
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Postby Perry » Tue Jul 03, 2007 10:05 am

This same brother who is replaceable by a spider monkey, once was going through a huge list of cold calls on the phone. By the end of the day, he was so frazzled that he dialed a number on the list, and then asked for himself, then recovered by saying: "Wait a minute. I am David.".
"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once. Lately it hasn't been working."
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Postby Bailey » Tue Jul 03, 2007 11:02 am

Perry is your brother's name Bubba? We may be 'related'.

lol

mark Bubba-is-a-Monkey Bailey

My branch of the family is of the Great Apes!
Last edited by Bailey on Tue Jul 03, 2007 7:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby skinem » Tue Jul 03, 2007 11:24 am

I HAVE done #2. Other people's reactions were funny---some asked straight faced if I had heard the page. Others asked (timidly) if I had done that myself. ("Nope. Skinem did." They then back away slowly and avoid me now. Good. Voices? What voices?)

As for number #19, our children weren't told they'd be let go...we told them we were going to sell them for medical experiments.

Now, they're afraid of the doc...
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Postby Stargzer » Tue Jul 03, 2007 1:04 pm

I'd like to try #14, but I don't think I could convince Uncle Sam that the gin-and-tonic was for medicinal purposes ... the tonic for the usual mid-Atlantic tropical heat and the gin for mental health reasons. Although, I could play my Junkanoo Cru CD and put on the lei I keep on hand in case anyone wants to get lei'd.
Regards//Larry

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