Alphadictionary.com

Our Sponsors

Technical Translation
Website Translation Clip Art
 

Pun Times

Miscellaneous Other Topics.

Postby Perry » Tue Dec 30, 2008 8:30 pm

:wink: :D :wink:
"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once. Lately it hasn't been working."
Anonymous
User avatar
Perry
Grand Panjandrum
 
Posts: 2306
Joined: Wed Mar 29, 2006 9:50 am
Location: Asheville, NC

Postby Perry » Thu Jan 01, 2009 5:21 pm

[This is an actual occurrence that generated a bon mot; not a made up pun.]

My brother had a mild stroke on Monday evening. On Tuesday, they decided to drill a small hole in his cranium and put in a drain so that the bleed would not cause too much swelling. Thanks to that procedure, he is doing much better, and we are hopeful for a full recovery.

After some reflection, I told him that in my opinion "he needed a hole in his head much more than he had needed a stroke". He seems to agree!
"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once. Lately it hasn't been working."
Anonymous
User avatar
Perry
Grand Panjandrum
 
Posts: 2306
Joined: Wed Mar 29, 2006 9:50 am
Location: Asheville, NC

Postby sluggo » Thu Jan 01, 2009 6:00 pm

Perry- dearest condolences on the family event and sincere best wishes for full, speedy and tranquil recovery, and I have no doubt I speak for everyone here. I know you guys are close.

Please keep us advised.
And since we're in January, Happy Birthday.
Stop! Murder us not, tonsured rumpots! Knife no one, fink!
sluggo
Grand Panjandrum
 
Posts: 1476
Joined: Wed Apr 12, 2006 1:58 pm
Location: Carolinia Agrestícia: The Forest Primeval

Postby Perry » Thu Jan 01, 2009 7:42 pm

Thanks for both wishes.
"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once. Lately it hasn't been working."
Anonymous
User avatar
Perry
Grand Panjandrum
 
Posts: 2306
Joined: Wed Mar 29, 2006 9:50 am
Location: Asheville, NC

Postby skinem » Thu Jan 01, 2009 10:51 pm

Perry, I'm sorry to hear about your brother.
He, his family and the docs will all be in my prayers. Hope he has a quick, full recovery.
User avatar
skinem
Grand Panjandrum
 
Posts: 1197
Joined: Thu Apr 27, 2006 4:33 pm
Location: Middle Tennessee

Saturday

Postby skinem » Sat Jan 03, 2009 11:19 am

The Apostle Paul wrote some of his epistles while imprisoned. However, it has been only recently discovered how these messages were smuggled out of the jail. Somehow, Paul obtained a bow and arrow from a guard. He would attach his epistle to the arrow's shaft. Then, he would launch it through a window. Outside, a disciple collected and delivered the epistles. It was the birth of the first guided missive.
User avatar
skinem
Grand Panjandrum
 
Posts: 1197
Joined: Thu Apr 27, 2006 4:33 pm
Location: Middle Tennessee

Postby Stargzer » Sat Jan 03, 2009 12:32 pm

INCOMING!!!!

Ah, yes, a good one there; and yes, Fr. Cruz's prayerbook was the first Cruz Missal.

(During his stint at SSA Stargzer used to refer to memoranda from a certain Mr. John Cruise as Cruise Missives.)
Regards//Larry

"To preserve liberty, it is essential that the whole body of the people always possess arms, and be taught alike, especially when young, how to use them."
-- Attributed to Richard Henry Lee
User avatar
Stargzer
Grand Panjandrum
 
Posts: 2547
Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 3:56 pm
Location: Crownsville, MD

Saturday

Postby skinem » Sat Jan 10, 2009 3:31 pm

There was a little rabbit that often played tricks on other animals. The rabbit became notorious for his practical jokes. Soon, a fairy caught wind of the rabbit's actions. She warned him a few times to change his ways. If he didn't, she said, she'd turn him into a big, ugly creature. The rabbit ignored the fairy's admonitions. The fairy kept her word and transformed the rabbit. The moral of the story: hare today, goon tomorrow.
User avatar
skinem
Grand Panjandrum
 
Posts: 1197
Joined: Thu Apr 27, 2006 4:33 pm
Location: Middle Tennessee

Postby Perry » Thu Jan 15, 2009 9:41 pm

Today I mentioned to someone that the cold snap we had here in Asheville was nothing to what they are reporting for Canada.

He mused that he had some friends in Quebec, and that he should give them a call to see how they are making out.

I replied that that is probably what they are doing to keep warm.
"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once. Lately it hasn't been working."
Anonymous
User avatar
Perry
Grand Panjandrum
 
Posts: 2306
Joined: Wed Mar 29, 2006 9:50 am
Location: Asheville, NC

Postby Huny » Thu Jan 15, 2009 10:58 pm

Perry wrote:Today I mentioned to someone that the cold snap we had here in Asheville was nothing to what they are reporting for Canada.

He mused that he had some friends in Quebec, and that he should give them a call to see how they are making out.

I replied that that is probably what they are doing to keep warm.


I guess the whole of North America will be in a deep freeze by this weekend.

Nine months from now we should be able to see just how well folks actually did make out.

New tag line
"What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compaired to what lies inside us." R.W.E.
Huny
Lexiterian
 
Posts: 293
Joined: Thu Jun 01, 2006 11:38 pm
Location: Georgia

Saturday

Postby skinem » Sat Jan 17, 2009 12:35 pm

Two men were hunting in the woods. One was a fanatical hunter. The other was a peaceful, nature-loving fellow who didn't really want to hurt anything. Soon enough, they picked up deer tracks. They eventually came upon the deer, which had a terrible eye infection. The hunter aimed, but his friend stopped him. He said, "Can't you see that's a bad eye deer?"
User avatar
skinem
Grand Panjandrum
 
Posts: 1197
Joined: Thu Apr 27, 2006 4:33 pm
Location: Middle Tennessee

Saturday

Postby skinem » Sat Jan 24, 2009 10:14 am

LITTLE KNOWN FACTS ABOUT HONEY BEES
A long time ago, there was a beehive in a forest. Every day, worker bees went into the fields, gathered pollen, and brought it back to make honey. The bees had a problem, though. Every so often an intruder would come. A bear wanted the honey or kids thought it'd be fun to throw rocks at the hive. Finally, the bees got tired of it. Being intelligent bees, they built an alarm system for the hive. When one bee pulled a lever, an alarm that the bees could hear in the fields was triggered. The worker bees returned to protect their home. One bee was exclusively assigned that job. He was named the "Lever Bee." His job was to watch for potential adversaries, and pull the lever to raise the alarm. The security of the hive depended on this one Lever Bee. So he had to be constantly ready and on the alert. And that, friends, is why people say, "I'm as ready as a Lever Bee."
User avatar
skinem
Grand Panjandrum
 
Posts: 1197
Joined: Thu Apr 27, 2006 4:33 pm
Location: Middle Tennessee

Postby Perry » Sun Jan 25, 2009 11:44 am

You are on a roll!
"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once. Lately it hasn't been working."
Anonymous
User avatar
Perry
Grand Panjandrum
 
Posts: 2306
Joined: Wed Mar 29, 2006 9:50 am
Location: Asheville, NC

Postby skinem » Sun Jan 25, 2009 6:00 pm

Well, if I can't be humorous or come up with quality, I strive for consistency...
User avatar
skinem
Grand Panjandrum
 
Posts: 1197
Joined: Thu Apr 27, 2006 4:33 pm
Location: Middle Tennessee

Nearly Saturday

Postby skinem » Sun Feb 01, 2009 1:08 pm

In the country lived a family that made its living weaving cloth. One day, a debt collector knocked on the door. "Is Jack home?" he asked the woman who answered the door. "I'm sorry," the woman replied. "Jack's gone for cotton." A few weeks later the collector tried again. "Is Jack here today?" Once again the answer was "No, sir, I'm afraid he has gone for cotton." When he returned for the third time and Jack was still nowhere to be seen, he complained, "I suppose Jack is gone for cotton again?" "No," the woman answered solemnly, "Jack died yesterday." Suspicious that he was being avoided, the collector decided to wait a week and investigate the cemetery. Sure enough, he found poor Jack's tombstone, with this inscription: "Gone, But Not for Cotton."
User avatar
skinem
Grand Panjandrum
 
Posts: 1197
Joined: Thu Apr 27, 2006 4:33 pm
Location: Middle Tennessee

PreviousNext

Return to Res Diversae

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 3 guests

cron