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trick questions and other entertaimnments

Postby KatyBr » Sat May 07, 2005 1:29 am

from today's email:
"It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test."

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert The saying; "If you don't use it, you will lose it" also applies to the brain, so... Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.

So, take the following test presented here and determine if you are losing it or are still "with it." The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you have made your answer.


OK, relax, clear your mind and .. begin.


Well, MAYBE NOT THAT CLEAR!



1. What do you put in a toaster?










Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "Bread," go to Question 2.





2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?





Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," please do not
attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate such as Children's World. If you said "water" then proceed to question 3.



3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?





Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green

bricks," what the devil are you still doing here reading these questions?????
If you said "glass," then! go on to Question 4.




4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over
Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically
divided into West Germany and East Germany.) Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he has time and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany or West Germany or in "no man's land"?





Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors.


If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, "Don't bury the survivors", then proceed to the next question.




5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?







Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!


Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!




Katy
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Postby Apoclima » Sat May 07, 2005 3:45 am

Very funny, Katy!

I wasn't sure where to bury the survivors!!

Apo
'Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination.' -Max Planck
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Postby anders » Sat May 07, 2005 6:08 am

Q # 3 asks for a "green house", but answers referring to "greenhouses". Your error, not mine.

On the flight Q:

One night, a Delta twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above New Jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, Michael Jordan, George W. Bush, the Dali Lama, and a hippie. Suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator exploded loudly in the luggage compartment, and the passenger cabin began to fill with smoke. The cockpit door opened, and the pilot burst into the compartment.

"Gentlemen," he began, "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that we're about to crash in New Jersey. The good news is that there are four parachutes, and I have one of them!" With that, the pilot threw open the door and jumped from the plane.
Michael Jordan was on his feet in a flash. "Gentlemen," he said, "I am the world's greatest athlete. The world needs great athletes. I think the world's greatest athlete should have a parachute!" With these words, he grabbed one of the remaining parachutes, and hurtled through the door and into the night.

George W. Bush rose and said, "Gentlemen, I am supposed to be the President of the U.S. The world needs leaders, and I think leaders should have a parachute, too." He grabbed one, and out he jumped.
The Dali Lama and the hippie looked at one another. Finally, the Dali Lama spoke. "My son," he said, "I have lived a satisfying life and have known the bliss of True Enlightenment. You have your life ahead of you; you take a parachute, and I will go down with the plane."

The hippie smiled slowly and said, "Hey, don't worry. The supposed leader of the free world just jumped out wearing my backpack."
Irren ist männlich
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Postby Apoclima » Sat May 07, 2005 6:53 am

Once there were three testpilots, two Norwegians and a Swede, who were flying a SAAB-JAS fighter plane. Suddenly the plane caught fire and the three realized that they'd have to bail out. The problem, however, seemed to be that there were only two parachutes in the plane. The Swede suddenly interrupted, "Intellektet mitt er for stort til at det kan gaa tapt. Jag tar den ena skjaarmen och hoppar." [My intellect is so great that it can't possibly be lost to mankind. I will take one of the parachutes.] Then he jumped out and the two Norwegians were left. "What are we going to do now?" one of them asked the other. "Well, we'll just jump. The great intellect grabbed my back-pack."

I reworked some tense problems from:

Image

Apo
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Postby KatyBr » Sat May 07, 2005 12:50 pm

As to greenhouses(or green houses) made of green bricks, Anders, there are no black bricks or blue bricks or green bricks, I think originally it was an oral question, but the manipulation of words is what makes it tricky, and funny. As to the joke it's been told of every president since the sixties when Hippies abounded.

Katy
joke dissectors, *shakes head* sheeeh!
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Postby Stargzer » Sat May 07, 2005 2:34 pm

OK, here's a geography question.

Name the northernmost, southernmost, westernmost, and eastermnost states of the United States of America.

Answers will be posted in a day or so to give time for guesses.
Regards//Larry

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Postby Apoclima » Sat May 07, 2005 2:56 pm

I know, but I won't tell!

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Postby Brazilian dude » Sat May 07, 2005 5:04 pm

If these four designations refer to the same state, I would say such a state doesn't exist.

Brazilian dude
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Postby Brazilian dude » Sat May 07, 2005 5:05 pm

I still don't get the Vaya con carne joke.

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Postby KatyBr » Sat May 07, 2005 6:01 pm

BD, a pun on Vaya Con Dios.... Vaya con carne...

Katy
It's better if you don't actually speak Spanish I think.
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Postby Brazilian dude » Sat May 07, 2005 6:37 pm

BD, a pun on Vaya Con Dios.... Vaya con carne...

That's what I thought, but so what?

It's better if you don't actually speak Spanish I think.

Maybe you're right, chica.

Brazilian dude, as always living la vida loca.
Languages rule!
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Postby tcward » Sat May 07, 2005 8:42 pm

KatyBr wrote:It's better if you don't actually speak Spanish I think.


Yeah, kind of like eating Taco Bell is better if you haven't actually eaten Mexican.

-Tim
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Postby KatyBr » Sun May 08, 2005 12:36 am

Yeah, kind of like eating Taco Bell is better if you haven't actually eaten Mexican.

-Tim

not at all, Tim, it's just that a non-Spanish speaker would more likely link vaya con carne with the traditional leave-taking vaya con Dios, because a non-Spanish speaker would probably only know those two phrases and would blend them thinking he/she was funny,
Dude? "chica?"


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Postby Stargzer » Sun May 08, 2005 2:07 am

Brazilian dude wrote:
BD, a pun on Vaya Con Dios.... Vaya con carne...

That's what I thought, but so what?
. . .

Brazilian dude, as always living la vida loca.


O comedor de Vegatable, vai com carne!

A play on "Vaya con Dios", like the banker, Milburn Drysedale, on "The Beverly Hillbillies" telling people "Vaya con dinero--Go with money."
Regards//Larry

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Postby Stargzer » Sun May 08, 2005 2:09 am

KatyBr wrote:
. . .Dude? "chica?"

Katy


Chica = girl, mon amie.
Regards//Larry

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