Group Poem Exercise

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saparris
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Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2010 5:33 pm
Location: South Carolina USA

Group Poem Exercise

Postby saparris » Fri Feb 12, 2010 6:20 pm

OK. Here are the rules. We will write a sonnet as a group. I will supply the title and the first line. Each successive poster will copy the existing title and lines, paste them into a reply, and add one line.

There should be no more than three posts per person (unless there are too few participants), and no one can post two lines in succession. If the meter or rhyme is incorrect, anyone can post a “fix meter” or “fix rhyme” request, and it will be the writer’s responsibility to do so.

The format will be that of an Italian sonnet, which contain 14 lines of iambic pentameter and rhymes ABBA ABBA CDE CDE. Iambic pentameter has five stressed syllables, each preceded by an unstressed one. (e.g., u s u s u s u s u s). Half rhymes (like rest and east) are acceptable if you get stuck or if it makes the line make sense.

The following is an example.

When I consider how my light is spent
John Milton

When I consider how my light is spent, (A)
Ere half my days, in this dark world and wide, (B)
And that one talent which is death to hide (B)
Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent (A)
To serve therewith my Maker, and present (A)
My true account, lest He returning chide, (B)
"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?" (B)
I fondly ask; But patience, to prevent (A)
That murmur, soon replies "God doth not need (C)
Either man's work or his own gifts. Who best (D)
Bear His mild yoke, they serve Him best. His state (E)
Is kingly: thousands at His bidding speed (C)
And post o'er land and ocean without rest; (D)
They also serve who only stand and wait." (E)

(The first and third lines of each stanza “Amazing Grace” are also in iambic pentameter.)

Title and first line are as follows:

Cellular Blues
They cut my mobile phone off yesterday
Ars longa, vita brevis

LukeJavan8
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Posts: 4422
Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2009 6:16 pm
Location: Land of the Flat Water

Postby LukeJavan8 » Fri Feb 12, 2010 7:52 pm

Too complicated for this poem-starved non-poet.
-----please, draw me a sheep-----

Audiendus
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Location: London, UK

Re: Group Poem Exercise

Postby Audiendus » Fri Feb 19, 2010 8:23 am

Cellular Blues
They cut my mobile phone off yesterday;
I sit bereft, and brood upon my loss.

LukeJavan8
Great Grand Panjandrum
Posts: 4422
Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2009 6:16 pm
Location: Land of the Flat Water

Re: Group Poem Exercise

Postby LukeJavan8 » Fri Feb 19, 2010 12:58 pm

Cellular Blues
They cut my mobile phone off yesterday;
I sit bereft, and brood upon my loss
At night I lie abed and turn and toss
-----please, draw me a sheep-----

saparris
Wordmaster
Posts: 794
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2010 5:33 pm
Location: South Carolina USA

Postby saparris » Fri Feb 19, 2010 4:36 pm

They cut my mobile phone off yesterday
I sit bereft, and brood upon my loss
At night I lie abed and turn and toss
I cannot roam because I could not pay
Ars longa, vita brevis

LukeJavan8
Great Grand Panjandrum
Posts: 4422
Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2009 6:16 pm
Location: Land of the Flat Water

Postby LukeJavan8 » Fri Feb 19, 2010 7:00 pm

They cut my mobile phone off yesterday
I sit bereft, and brood upon my loss
At night I lie abed and turn and toss
I cannot roam because I could not pay
And sleep won't come to me so here I lay
-----please, draw me a sheep-----

saparris
Wordmaster
Posts: 794
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2010 5:33 pm
Location: South Carolina USA

Postby saparris » Fri Feb 19, 2010 7:13 pm

They cut my mobile phone off yesterday
I sit bereft, and brood upon my loss
At night I lie abed and turn and toss
I cannot roam because I could not pay
And sleep won't come to me so here I lay
Beside my phone--a wireless albatross
Ars longa, vita brevis

LukeJavan8
Great Grand Panjandrum
Posts: 4422
Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2009 6:16 pm
Location: Land of the Flat Water

Postby LukeJavan8 » Fri Feb 19, 2010 7:24 pm

They cut my mobile phone off yesterday
I sit bereft, and brood upon my loss
At night I lie abed and turn and toss
I cannot roam because I could not pay
And sleep won't come to me so here I lay
Beside my phone--a wireless albatross
It lay stone dead inert but for green moss
-----please, draw me a sheep-----

Audiendus
Wordmaster
Posts: 908
Joined: Sun Feb 14, 2010 6:08 pm
Location: London, UK

Postby Audiendus » Fri Feb 19, 2010 8:56 pm

They cut my mobile phone off yesterday
I sit bereft, and brood upon my loss
At night I lie abed and turn and toss
I cannot roam because I could not pay
And sleep won't come to me so here I lay
Beside my phone--a wireless albatross
It lay stone dead inert but for green moss
And yet I shrink from casting it away.

LukeJavan8
Great Grand Panjandrum
Posts: 4422
Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2009 6:16 pm
Location: Land of the Flat Water

Postby LukeJavan8 » Fri Feb 19, 2010 9:10 pm

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They cut my mobile phone off yesterday
I sit bereft, and brood upon my loss
At night I lie abed and turn and toss
I cannot roam because I could not pay
And sleep won't come to me so here I lay
Beside my phone--a wireless albatross
It lay stone dead inert but for green moss
And yet I shrink from casting it away.
The ringtone still remains a lullaby
-----please, draw me a sheep-----

Audiendus
Wordmaster
Posts: 908
Joined: Sun Feb 14, 2010 6:08 pm
Location: London, UK

Postby Audiendus » Sat Feb 20, 2010 12:26 pm

They cut my mobile phone off yesterday
I sit bereft, and brood upon my loss
At night I lie abed and turn and toss
I cannot roam because I could not pay
And sleep won't come to me so here I lay
Beside my phone--a wireless albatross
It lay stone dead inert but for green moss
And yet I shrink from casting it away.
The ringtone still remains a lullaby
No longer functional but still divine

LukeJavan8
Great Grand Panjandrum
Posts: 4422
Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2009 6:16 pm
Location: Land of the Flat Water

Postby LukeJavan8 » Sat Feb 20, 2010 12:30 pm

They cut my mobile phone off yesterday
I sit bereft, and brood upon my loss
At night I lie abed and turn and toss
I cannot roam because I could not pay
And sleep won't come to me so here I lay
Beside my phone--a wireless albatross
It lay stone dead inert but for green moss
And yet I shrink from casting it away.
The ringtone still remains a lullaby
No longer functional but still divine
I ponder how I became so in love
-----please, draw me a sheep-----

saparris
Wordmaster
Posts: 794
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2010 5:33 pm
Location: South Carolina USA

Postby saparris » Sun Feb 21, 2010 4:52 pm

They cut my mobile phone off yesterday
I sit bereft, and brood upon my loss
At night I lie abed and turn and toss
I cannot roam because I could not pay
And sleep won't come to me so here I lay
Beside my phone--a wireless albatross
It lay stone dead inert but for green moss
And yet I shrink from casting it away.
The ringtone still remains a lullaby
No longer functional but still divine
I ponder how I fell so much in love
With something that I now must bid good-bye

p.s. changed the "I ponder...." line a bit for the sake of meter)
Ars longa, vita brevis

Audiendus
Wordmaster
Posts: 908
Joined: Sun Feb 14, 2010 6:08 pm
Location: London, UK

Postby Audiendus » Sun Feb 21, 2010 10:27 pm

They cut my mobile phone off yesterday
I sit bereft, and brood upon my loss
At night I lie abed and turn and toss
I cannot roam because I could not pay
And sleep won't come to me so here I lay
Beside my phone--a wireless albatross
It lay stone dead inert but for green moss
And yet I shrink from casting it away.
The ringtone still remains a lullaby
No longer functional but still divine
I ponder how I fell so much in love
With something that I now must bid good-bye
Henceforth I will communicate online

saparris
Wordmaster
Posts: 794
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2010 5:33 pm
Location: South Carolina USA

Postby saparris » Mon Feb 22, 2010 8:50 am

Cellular Blues

They cut my mobile phone off yesterday
I sit bereft, and brood upon my loss
At night I lie abed and turn and toss
I cannot roam because I could not pay
And sleep won't come to me so here I lay
Beside my phone--a wireless albatross
It lay stone dead inert but for green moss
And yet I shrink from casting it away
The ringtone still remains a lullaby
No longer functional but still divine
I ponder how I fell so much in love
With something that I now must bid good-bye
Henceforth I will communicate online
And write group poems--like the one above

(That's all folks. Enjoyed it)
Ars longa, vita brevis


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