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Perry Lassiter
Grand Panjandrum
Posts: 3194
Joined: Wed Jan 03, 2007 12:41 pm
Location: RUSTON, LA

Postby Perry Lassiter » Thu Jun 21, 2012 9:00 pm

One of the shorter shaggy dog gags.

Philip Hudson
Grand Panjandrum
Posts: 2049
Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2006 4:41 am
Location: Texas

Postby Philip Hudson » Sat Jun 23, 2012 2:21 am

Slava, in my density, I puzzled long over the need for a carpet steamer. Then it hit me that Joe's last name might mean a dirty shag rug. I don't think that was what the judge was thinking of when he granted the name change.
How about "copulate in an undignified manner"?
It is dark at night, but the Sun will come up and then we can see.

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Grand Panjandrum
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Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 3:56 pm
Location: Crownsville, MD

Postby Stargzer » Wed Aug 01, 2012 3:47 pm

If you recognize this after the first few lines, skip down to the bottom for an alternate punch-line.

Stargzer wrote:Three people arrive at the Pearly Gates simultaneously. St. Peter informs them, "Due to the high number of recent natural disasters and armed conflicts, our facilities have been stretched beyond their limits and we need to upgrade our infrastructure before we can accept new customers. However, we do have a special offer for you. You can go back to Earth for one month, but there is one proviso: you can't go back as a human. Anything else, and I mean anything, is OK."

Well the first person says, "Well, I always wondered what it would be like to be an eagle soaring over the Grand Canyon."

"DONE!" say St. Peter, and with a snap of his fingers, the man disappears. "Next?"

"I always admired the dolphins when I was on Earth. I'd like to swim with them for a while," said the second. "DONE!" He, too, disappears.

"What about you?" says St. Peter to the third one.

"Well, um, I always wanted to be a real stud." he said with a sly but sheepish grin. "As you wish!" was the Gatekeeper's reply as the third one vanished.

A week later God summoned St. Peter into his office. "We seem to be missing three souls." he said. "Well, a week ago I sent three back to Earth for a month on that special program we had while we upgraded our infrastructure," said St. Peter.

"What? We cancelled that program a month ago! Don't you ever open your EMail? I want those souls back right now!"

"OK, OK, don't get so excited. We can have the first two back right away, but it will take a while to find the third one."

"Why? Where is he?"

"We're not sure exactly, but we know he's in a wall somewhere in Wisconsin."

New punch line, via email, courtesy of the irrepressible Agoraphile:

"He's somewhere in a snow tire in Saskatchewan."


"To preserve liberty, it is essential that the whole body of the people always possess arms, and be taught alike, especially when young, how to use them."
-- Attributed to Richard Henry Lee

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