Group Poem XIII

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Audiendus
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Location: London, UK

Re: Group Poem XIII

Postby Audiendus » Mon Aug 20, 2012 5:30 pm

Love, Olympic Style

[He]
Your eyes are like the stars, my love, or an Olympic flame
Your hair is like the nations' flags that stream atop the stands
But where on earth did you acquire a male weightlifter's frame?
A chest that billows like a yachtsman's sail when it expands?

[She]
Yes, I, my sweet, was dainty—as a gymnast tends to be,
Slender and agile, reminiscent of a vaulter's pole
Until some wretched coxswain "made a woman" out of me
While high on drugs that no athletic body can control.

[He]
What hurdles, dear, you must have jumped while "in the family way"
From when the starter fired the shot until you held the gold!
'Twas upsy baby downsy baby with each leap and splay!
Your child could trampoline when he was minus two months old.

[She]
The jumps it made were not so bad, but the dismounts were a bitch
And when it learned to take free kicks, the shooting pains grew worse
They felt a lot like javelins and made my bladder twitch
And now I'm shapeless, as you mentioned in the opening verse.

["Opening" as in "opening ceremony"]

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saparris
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Posts: 794
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2010 5:33 pm
Location: South Carolina USA

Re: Group Poem XIII

Postby saparris » Mon Aug 20, 2012 7:33 pm

Love, Olympic Style

[He]
Your eyes are like the stars, my love, or an Olympic flame
Your hair is like the nations' flags that stream atop the stands
But where on earth did you acquire a male weightlifter's frame?
A chest that billows like a yachtsman's sail when it expands?

[She]
Yes, I, my sweet, was dainty—as a gymnast tends to be,
Slender and agile, reminiscent of a vaulter's pole
Until some wretched coxswain "made a woman" out of me
While high on drugs that no athletic body can control.

[He]
What hurdles, dear, you must have jumped while "in the family way"
From when the starter fired the shot until you held the gold!
'Twas upsy baby downsy baby with each leap and splay!
Your child could trampoline when he was minus two months old.

[She]
The jumps it made were not so bad, but the dismounts were a bitch
And when it learned to take free kicks, the shooting pains grew worse
They felt a lot like javelins and made my bladder twitch
And now I'm shapeless, as you mentioned in the opening verse.

[They, Alternating Lines, He then She]
For that, my tongue should be removed with epee or with foil
Ars longa, vita brevis

Audiendus
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Posts: 638
Joined: Sun Feb 14, 2010 6:08 pm
Location: London, UK

Re: Group Poem XIII

Postby Audiendus » Tue Aug 21, 2012 7:53 am

Love, Olympic Style

[He]
Your eyes are like the stars, my love, or an Olympic flame
Your hair is like the nations' flags that stream atop the stands
But where on earth did you acquire a male weightlifter's frame?
A chest that billows like a yachtsman's sail when it expands?

[She]
Yes, I, my sweet, was dainty—as a gymnast tends to be,
Slender and agile, reminiscent of a vaulter's pole
Until some wretched coxswain "made a woman" out of me
While high on drugs that no athletic body can control.

[He]
What hurdles, dear, you must have jumped while "in the family way"
From when the starter fired the shot until you held the gold!
'Twas upsy baby downsy baby with each leap and splay!
Your child could trampoline when he was minus two months old.

[She]
The jumps it made were not so bad, but the dismounts were a bitch
And when it learned to take free kicks, the shooting pains grew worse
They felt a lot like javelins and made my bladder twitch
And now I'm shapeless, as you mentioned in the opening verse.

[They, Alternating Lines, He then She]
For that, my tongue should be removed with epee or with foil
A breaststroke and a backstroke will placate me, dearest one!

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saparris
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Posts: 794
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2010 5:33 pm
Location: South Carolina USA

Re: Group Poem XIII

Postby saparris » Tue Aug 21, 2012 10:01 am

Love, Olympic Style

[He]
Your eyes are like the stars, my love, or an Olympic flame
Your hair is like the nations' flags that stream atop the stands
But where on earth did you acquire a male weightlifter's frame?
A chest that billows like a yachtsman's sail when it expands?

[She]
Yes, I, my sweet, was dainty—as a gymnast tends to be,
Slender and agile, reminiscent of a vaulter's pole
Until some wretched coxswain "made a woman" out of me
While high on drugs that no athletic body can control.

[He]
What hurdles, dear, you must have jumped while "in the family way"
From when the starter fired the shot until you held the gold!
'Twas upsy baby downsy baby with each leap and splay!
Your child could trampoline when he was minus two months old.

[She]
The jumps it made were not so bad, but the dismounts were a bitch
And when it learned to take free kicks, the shooting pains grew worse
They felt a lot like javelins and made my bladder twitch
And now I'm shapeless, as you mentioned in the opening verse.

[They, Alternating Lines, He then She]
For that, my tongue should be removed with epee or with foil
A breaststroke and a backstroke will placate me, dearest one!
Then I shall rub, my butterfly—the front, the back, the whole
Ars longa, vita brevis

Audiendus
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Posts: 638
Joined: Sun Feb 14, 2010 6:08 pm
Location: London, UK

Re: Group Poem XIII

Postby Audiendus » Tue Aug 21, 2012 3:22 pm

Love, Olympic Style

[He]
Your eyes are like the stars, my love, or an Olympic flame
Your hair is like the nations' flags that stream atop the stands
But where on earth did you acquire a male weightlifter's frame?
A chest that billows like a yachtsman's sail when it expands?

[She]
Yes, I, my sweet, was dainty—as a gymnast tends to be,
Slender and agile, reminiscent of a vaulter's pole
Until some wretched coxswain "made a woman" out of me
While high on drugs that no athletic body can control.

[He]
What hurdles, dear, you must have jumped while "in the family way"
From when the starter fired the shot until you held the gold!
'Twas upsy baby downsy baby with each leap and splay!
Your child could trampoline when he was minus two months old.

[She]
The jumps it made were not so bad, but the dismounts were a bitch
And when it learned to take free kicks, the shooting pains grew worse
They felt a lot like javelins and made my bladder twitch
And now I'm shapeless, as you mentioned in the opening verse.

[They, Alternating Lines, He then She]
For that, my tongue should be removed with epee or with foil
A breaststroke and a backstroke will placate me, dearest one!
Then I shall rub, my butterfly—the front, the back, the whole
Of course! Now, shall we marry? Let me introduce my son...

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saparris
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Posts: 794
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2010 5:33 pm
Location: South Carolina USA

Re: Group Poem XIII

Postby saparris » Tue Aug 21, 2012 3:31 pm

Good ending, Audiendus!

I began to worry about this poem after Verse One because I wasn't sure that it was sustainable through 20 lines, but I think it turned out to be a success.

A very enjoyable experience from the left side of the ocean.
Ars longa, vita brevis

Audiendus
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Posts: 638
Joined: Sun Feb 14, 2010 6:08 pm
Location: London, UK

Re: Group Poem XIII

Postby Audiendus » Tue Aug 21, 2012 4:55 pm

Thank you.

I always find that iambic heptameter gives plenty of flexibility.

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Slava
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Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 9:31 am
Location: Finger Lakes, NY

Re: Group Poem XIII

Postby Slava » Tue Aug 21, 2012 10:08 pm

Most assuredly, not what I expected at all, at all. Lots of fun, and another smash hit from our poetic duo!

Kudos aplenty to the both of you. May you continue to grace this place with your presents, and presence.
Life is like playing chess with chessmen who each have thoughts and feelings and motives of their own.

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saparris
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Posts: 794
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2010 5:33 pm
Location: South Carolina USA

Re: Group Poem XIII

Postby saparris » Tue Aug 21, 2012 10:49 pm

Thanks, Slava. I suppose you could say that it wasn't what Audiendus and I expected either. I don't think we expect anything except a surprise with each new line. And that's a large part of the fun.
Ars longa, vita brevis


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