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Group Poem XIX

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Group Poem XIX

Postby saparris » Sat Feb 15, 2014 11:01 pm

Even though Valentine’s Day 2014 has come and gone, the occasion still deserves commemorating, especially since we haven’t done a group poem on Valentine’s Day to date.

We will correct the oversight by writing a new group poem, the subject of which will be “an imaginary meeting of Cardinals and other Catholic higher-ups, during which a discussion of the potential canonization of St. Valentine, takes place.” (Valentinus, himself a priest, was never officially canonized, since his martyrdom took place on February 14, ca. 289, and since the official process of canonization did not begin for nearly a thousand years thereafter.) Nonetheless, he was proclaimed a saint by the early church community and received his official status a few centuries after his death.

The poem should be perceived—and written—as a conversation among the participants of this imaginary meeting. Are we claiming poetic license? Indeed we are—perhaps even “poetic licentiousness.”

The poem will consist of 6 stanzas, each of 4 lines of iambic heptameter, rhyming AABB, CCDD etc. Since Valentine’s Day celebrates romantic love, each line must contain a reference to sex, lovemaking, or related activity (e.g. foreplay)—but only as a metaphor, nickname, or double entendre. Any profanity or overt sexual terminology will not be permitted. If any line is deemed offensive, it will can and will be removed at the request of any participant. We’re here to have fun, not to embarrass anyone.

Place all of the sexual words or phrases in bold type, and copy the title and previous lines when adding your own so that we will can keep the poem intact as we progress. As usual, half rhymes (like be/way) are permitted.

The title and first line are as follows:

The Sainting of Saint Valentine

Before we canonize this man, there should be intercourse
Ars longa, vita brevis
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Re: Group Poem XIX

Postby Audiendus » Sun Feb 16, 2014 6:27 am

The Sainting of Saint Valentine

Before we canonize this man, there should be intercourse
Let us with lusty voices pray for God's all-guiding force
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Re: Group Poem XIX

Postby saparris » Sun Feb 16, 2014 6:32 pm

The Sainting of Saint Valentine

Before we canonize this man, there should be intercourse
Let us with lusty voices pray for God's all-guiding force[/quote]
The lead us to a pleasing climax when the meeting's done
Ars longa, vita brevis
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Re: Group Poem XIX

Postby Audiendus » Sun Feb 16, 2014 11:34 pm

The Sainting of Saint Valentine

Before we canonize this man, there should be intercourse
Let us with lusty voices pray for God's all-guiding force
Then lead us to a pleasing climax when the meeting's done
And now 'tis my desire that we proceed to Item One.
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Re: Group Poem XIX

Postby saparris » Mon Feb 17, 2014 7:27 am

The Sainting of Saint Valentine

Before we canonize this man, there should be intercourse
Let us with lusty voices pray for God's all-guiding force
Then lead us to a pleasing climax when the meeting's done
And now 'tis my desire that we proceed to Item One

He's dead for sure? No man can stay erect and be a saint!
Ars longa, vita brevis
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saparris
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Location: South Carolina USA

Re: Group Poem XIX

Postby Audiendus » Mon Feb 17, 2014 11:06 am

The Sainting of Saint Valentine

Before we canonize this man, there should be intercourse
Let us with lusty voices pray for God's all-guiding force
Then lead us to a pleasing climax when the meeting's done
And now 'tis my desire that we proceed to Item One

He's dead for sure? No man can stay erect and be a saint!
We might arouse dispute if we abolish this constraint
Audiendus
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Posts: 588
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Location: London, UK

Re: Group Poem XIX

Postby saparris » Mon Feb 17, 2014 12:15 pm

The Sainting of Saint Valentine

Before we canonize this man, there should be intercourse
Let us with lusty voices pray for God's all-guiding force
Then lead us to a pleasing climax when the meeting's done
And now 'tis my desire that we proceed to Item One

He's dead for sure? No man can stay erect and be a saint!
We might arouse dispute if we abolish this constraint
A little death, the housemaid said, with screams and quivers, too
Ars longa, vita brevis
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saparris
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Location: South Carolina USA

Re: Group Poem XIX

Postby Audiendus » Mon Feb 17, 2014 6:54 pm

The Sainting of Saint Valentine

Before we canonize this man, there should be intercourse
Let us with lusty voices pray for God's all-guiding force
Then lead us to a pleasing climax when the meeting's done
And now 'tis my desire that we proceed to Item One

He's dead for sure? No man can stay erect and be a saint!
We might arouse dispute if we abolish this constraint
A little death, the housemaid said, with screams and quivers, too.
Agreed? OK – his acts of love are next in our review.
Audiendus
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Posts: 588
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Location: London, UK

Re: Group Poem XIX

Postby saparris » Mon Feb 17, 2014 11:35 pm

The Sainting of Saint Valentine

Before we canonize this man, there should be intercourse
Let us with lusty voices pray for God's all-guiding force
Then lead us to a pleasing climax when the meeting's done
And now 'tis my desire that we proceed to Item One

He's dead for sure? No man can stay erect and be a saint!
We might arouse dispute if we abolish this constraint
A little death, the housemaid said, with screams and quivers, too
Agreed? OK – his acts of love are next in our review

I've heard he did the copulating when young people wed
Ars longa, vita brevis
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saparris
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Posts: 767
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Location: South Carolina USA

Re: Group Poem XIX

Postby Audiendus » Tue Feb 18, 2014 6:28 am

The Sainting of Saint Valentine

Before we canonize this man, there should be intercourse
Let us with lusty voices pray for God's all-guiding force
Then lead us to a pleasing climax when the meeting's done
And now 'tis my desire that we proceed to Item One

He's dead for sure? No man can stay erect and be a saint!
We might arouse dispute if we abolish this constraint
A little death, the housemaid said, with screams and quivers, too
Agreed? OK – his acts of love are next in our review

I've heard he did the copulating when young people wed
With penetrating sermons on apocalyptic dread
Audiendus
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Posts: 588
Joined: Sun Feb 14, 2010 6:08 pm
Location: London, UK

Re: Group Poem XIX

Postby saparris » Tue Feb 18, 2014 3:48 pm

The Sainting of Saint Valentine

Before we canonize this man, there should be intercourse
Let us with lusty voices pray for God's all-guiding force
Then lead us to a pleasing climax when the meeting's done
And now 'tis my desire that we proceed to Item One

He's dead for sure? No man can stay erect and be a saint!
We might arouse dispute if we abolish this constraint
A little death, the housemaid said, with screams and quivers, too
Agreed? OK – his acts of love are next in our review

I've heard he did the copulating when young people wed
With penetrating sermons on apocalyptic dread
Yet, even so, more couples came with orgiastic glee
Ars longa, vita brevis
User avatar
saparris
Senior Lexiterian
 
Posts: 767
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2010 5:33 pm
Location: South Carolina USA

Re: Group Poem XIX

Postby Audiendus » Tue Feb 18, 2014 8:51 pm

The Sainting of Saint Valentine

Before we canonize this man, there should be intercourse
Let us with lusty voices pray for God's all-guiding force
Then lead us to a pleasing climax when the meeting's done
And now 'tis my desire that we proceed to Item One

He's dead for sure? No man can stay erect and be a saint!
We might arouse dispute if we abolish this constraint
A little death, the housemaid said, with screams and quivers, too
Agreed? OK – his acts of love are next in our review

I've heard he did the copulating when young people wed
With penetrating sermons on apocalyptic dread
Yet, even so, more couples came with orgiastic glee
To watch him mount the pulpit and expound on Charity
Audiendus
Senior Lexiterian
 
Posts: 588
Joined: Sun Feb 14, 2010 6:08 pm
Location: London, UK

Re: Group Poem XIX

Postby saparris » Wed Feb 19, 2014 12:54 am

The Sainting of Saint Valentine

Before we canonize this man, there should be intercourse
Let us with lusty voices pray for God's all-guiding force
Then lead us to a pleasing climax when the meeting's done
And now 'tis my desire that we proceed to Item One

He's dead for sure? No man can stay erect and be a saint!
We might arouse dispute if we abolish this constraint
A little death, the housemaid said, with screams and quivers, too
Agreed? OK – his acts of love are next in our review

I've heard he did the copulating when young people wed
With penetrating sermons on apocalyptic dread
Yet, even so, more couples came with orgiastic glee
To watch him mount the pulpit and expound on Charity

Although he wasn’t well endowed, he kept on putting out
Ars longa, vita brevis
User avatar
saparris
Senior Lexiterian
 
Posts: 767
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2010 5:33 pm
Location: South Carolina USA

Re: Group Poem XIX

Postby Audiendus » Wed Feb 19, 2014 10:04 am

The Sainting of Saint Valentine

Before we canonize this man, there should be intercourse
Let us with lusty voices pray for God's all-guiding force
Then lead us to a pleasing climax when the meeting's done
And now 'tis my desire that we proceed to Item One

He's dead for sure? No man can stay erect and be a saint!
We might arouse dispute if we abolish this constraint
A little death, the housemaid said, with screams and quivers, too
Agreed? OK – his acts of love are next in our review

I've heard he did the copulating when young people wed
With penetrating sermons on apocalyptic dread
Yet, even so, more couples came with orgiastic glee
To watch him mount the pulpit and expound on Charity

Although he wasn’t well endowed, he kept on putting out
His seminal advice on giving alms and quelling doubt
Audiendus
Senior Lexiterian
 
Posts: 588
Joined: Sun Feb 14, 2010 6:08 pm
Location: London, UK

Re: Group Poem XIX

Postby saparris » Wed Feb 19, 2014 4:41 pm

The Sainting of Saint Valentine

Before we canonize this man, there should be intercourse
Let us with lusty voices pray for God's all-guiding force
Then lead us to a pleasing climax when the meeting's done
And now 'tis my desire that we proceed to Item One

He's dead for sure? No man can stay erect and be a saint!
We might arouse dispute if we abolish this constraint
A little death, the housemaid said, with screams and quivers, too
Agreed? OK – his acts of love are next in our review

I've heard he did the copulating when young people wed
With penetrating sermons on apocalyptic dread
Yet, even so, more couples came with orgiastic glee
To watch him mount the pulpit and expound on Charity

Although he wasn’t well endowed, he kept on putting out
His seminal advice on giving alms and quelling doubt
One wintry day, he placed his gift inside a widow’s muff
Ars longa, vita brevis
User avatar
saparris
Senior Lexiterian
 
Posts: 767
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2010 5:33 pm
Location: South Carolina USA

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