chalant and gruntled

[KatyBr]

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Thought you all might enjoy this by Jack Winter/The New Yorker.


It had been a rough day, so when I walked into the party I was very chalant, despite my efforts to appear gruntled and consolate. I was furling my wieldy umbrella for the coat check when I saw her standing alone in a corner She was a descript person, a woman in a state of total array. Her hair was kempt, her clothing shevelled, and she moved in a gainly way.

I wanted desperately to meet her, but I knew I'd have to make bones about it since I was traveling cognito. Beknownst to me, the hostess, whom I could see both hide and hair of, was very proper, so it would be skin off my nose if anything bad happened. And even though I had only swerving loyalty to her, my manners couldn't be peccable. Only toward and heard-of behavior would do.

Fortunately, the embarrassment that my maculate appearance might cause was evitable. There were two ways about it, but the chances that someone as flappable as I would be ept enough to become persona grata or a sung hero were slim. I was, after all, something to sneeze at, someone you could easily hold a candle to, someone who usually aroused bridled passion.

So I decided not to risk it. But then, all at once, for some apparent reason, she looked in my direction and smiled in a way that I could make heads or tails of.

I was plussed. It was concerting to see that she was communicado, and it nerved me that she was interested in a pareil like me, sight seen. Normally, I had a domitable spirit, but, being corrigible, I felt capacitated--as if this were something I was great shakes at--and forgot that I had succeeded in situations like this only a told number of times. So, after a terminable delay, I acted with mitigated gall and made my way through the ruly crowd with strong givings.

Nevertheless, since this was all new hat to me and I had no time to prepare a promptu speech, I was petuous. Wanting to make only called-for remarks, I started talking about the hors d'oeuvres, trying to abuse her of the notion that I was sipid, and perhaps even bunk a few myths about myself.

She responded well, and I was mayed that she considered me a savory character who was up to some good. She told me who she was. "What a perfect nomer," I said, advertently. The conversation become more and more choate, and we spoke at length to much avail. But I was defatigable, so I had to leave at a godly hour. I asked if she wanted to come with me. To my delight, she was committal. We left the party together and have been together ever since. I have given her my love, and she has requited it.

I love this and those who weren't privy to the old agora might enjoy it also.

Kt

[Perry]

Katie,

I remember this one well, and was happy to reread it. I have always loved orphaned positives. (Isn't that what you and I are? LOL)

[sluggo]

Katie,

I remember this one well, and was happy to reread it. I have always loved orphaned positives. (Isn't that what you and I are? LOL)

Which brings up the question of what these are called- I learned the roots of these terms (unkempt, nonchalant etc) as "non-positive negatives". Does that make this story full of un-negatived positives?

Loved the story Katie, thanks for posting.

[Flaminius]

Negative polarity items.

[Perry]

I have always known these words as "orhpaned positives", although strictly speaking it is the negatives that are in common usage. so by rights they should be known as "orphaned negatives".

[Slava]

I came across this in another place, and thought I'd revive it here. It's really a fun read.