Gee, I thought it was pretty moderate as it was!

“Sly as a fox” is often a compliment. Pigs and rails (as well as beanpoles) are, by their nature, fat and skinny, respectively. Winks and flashes are inherently quick, but so are bunnies (ever try to catch one?), and snails are really, really sloooooooowwwwwwww. Mules tend to be stubborn (remember the scene on the bridge in “Patton”). Ice by its nature is cold, kites are high if there’s enough wind (as were hippies in the 60s if there were enough, well, you know, “stuff.” ), tacks really are sharp, and most rocks are hard. If a loaf of bread is hard as a rock, is that a positive trait? Only if you want to make bread pudding or breadcrumbs.

“Deaf as a post” (which is most certainly an inanimate object) is not necessarily a compliment; a mid-August day that is “hot as Hell” is not normally a pleasant one unless you’ve just returned from a polar region.

For stubbornness, our late beagle could put a mule to shame, and he would bark at anything, even larger dogs. I was walking him once and he started to bark at a couple of big Chessies (Chesapeake Bay Retrievers), male and female, that were wandering loose down the street. He continued to challenge their parentage and manhood (doghood?) as they approached. They looked him him over and sniffed the air, all but saying “We could kick his butt, but he’s not worth it.” as they turned and sauntered away. Buddy continued to cast aspersions upon their ancestors as they made their way home. I’m not sure if that was being brave as a lion or mearly foolhardy. Or dumber than, well, the stuff one finds at the bottom of a latrine.