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Rules of Childhood
written by kids ages 8-15
Never trust a dog to watch your food.
When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer.
Never pee on an electric fence.
Don't eat yellow snow.
Don't squat with your spurs on.
Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to.
When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
Don't sneeze when you're eating crackers.
Turn off the dust buster before you pick up the cat.
Don't try to hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick.
Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.
When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone.
Never try to baptize a cat.
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