The Philosophy of Words
(So to Speak)
- Why isn't phonetics spelled phonetically?
- Why are there Braille signs at the drive-through windows at the bank?
- If a deaf kid swears, does his mom wash his hands with soap?
- What's another word for synonym?
- Why do we drive on a parkway but park in a driveway?
- Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
- Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
- Is it possible to be "totally partial?"
- Would a fly that loses its wings be called a "walk?"
- If a turtle loses its shell is it naked or homeless?
- If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
- If people can have triplets and quadruplets why not singlets and doublets?
- Is Atheism a non-prophet organization.
- I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where is the self-help section?" She said that if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
- Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
- Why don't you ever see the headline, "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
- Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
- Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
- Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
- Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
- Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
- If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
- If flying is so safe, why is the airport called 'terminal'?
Authors: Some are from George Carlin and Stephen Wright; others are unknown
Contributors: Wanda Wilson & John Masher
