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Alphadictionary.com
Morty SkustingThe Morty Skusting
Writing Avoidance Center
Why wake up your brain just to write a masterpiece?

Morty SkustingIf Morty put as much time in writing as he puts into finding ways to avoid writing, people would read his work and forget John Grisham. But the whole point of computers is that they do things for us, so why shouldn't they write for us? Below is a list of web pages that will write for you. Even if you don't submit the output of these pages as your own work, you will enjoy playing with them.

  • alphaDictionary's Buzzomatic Memo Writer
    Why waste your time keeping up with the latest terminology in the ever-changing world of technology? Just click four buttons and alphaDictionary will apply the latest buzzology to whip out a stunning memo for you in as many seconds.
  • Postmodernist Scholarship Writer
    Morty hard at workWhy waste your time writing brilliant and penetrating articles on the post-Modernist world when no one understands them anyway? Here is a website that will write an original piece every time you refresh the page. You have millions of variants to choose from but why choose—collect them all and publish a book. For lazy students and professors alike.
  • Country Song Writer
    Now that you have a guitar, this page is all you need to make it to the Grand Ol' Opry! You know the music and the stories that go along with it are pretty much the same. All you need is a computer that will shuffle the words around a little and the folks down South will love you. (If you still want to write your own, click here for inspiration.)
  • Band Name Generator
    OK, now that you have your songs you need a name for your band. Since stupid names rule, what better way to create one than a random word generator. Here is the best in the business.
  • Automatic Complaint Writer
    Do you ever get the feeling that your complaints fall on deaf ears? So why waste a lot of time writing up complaints. Scott Pakin has encyclopedized them all and offers them all to you for free.
  • Shakespearean Insult Generator
    Are Pakin's complaints too mild or low-brow for you? Then you might want the more straightforward though appropriately pedantic insults created by none other than William Shakespeare. Insults from a superior intelligence sting more.
  • Church Sign Generator
    Don't go to church much any more? That doesn't mean you have to miss the messages on the sign out front. In fact, you can write your own and put it in your photo album to show off to your more religious friends.
  • Tombstone Generator
    Why put it off to the last minute? Or worse yet, leave a text this important up to your children? Create your own tombstone here and move on to your Maker with a clear idea of what you leave behind.
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