Loo

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LukeJavan8
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Re: Loo

Postby LukeJavan8 » Sun Apr 12, 2015 5:50 pm

I would imagine, then, that they could last decades.Quite a few
folks in these parts use them as retaining walls, and never
replace them. There is a partial one maybe 20 feet long
in my yard and it is good as new, I've been here since
'74 and it was here when I moved in.
-----please, draw me a sheep-----

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David McWethy
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Re: Loo

Postby David McWethy » Tue Apr 14, 2015 2:08 pm

I've restrained myself for as long as I can:

In the latter half of the previous century, one of the largest employers in the southern half of Mississippi was the Ingalls Shipbuilding Corporation, located in Pascagoula, on the Gulf coast between Keesler Air Force Base and Mobile.

Its usual complement was approximately 15,000 workers; its biggest customer was the U.S. Navy; and because contracts with the federal government required that all workers be paid the "Davis-Bacon prevailing wage rate" as determined by the Department of Labor, workers--particularly blacks and 'Cajuns--made salaries that were two to three times as much
per hour as the actual prevailing wage rate in the real world.

This was a godsend for the "persons of color" in the state, so it was common for such workers to form carpools covering a 100-mile route to deliver workers--nearly all of whom would get up at 5:00 a,m. in order to be ready for the two-hour (one-way) ride.

And of course "outhouses" were located at every shanty that was located so deep in the woods that sunlight had to be piped in.

One morning a carpool passenger named "Alexon"--which was likely the "coonass" pronunciation of "Alexander"--had finished his breakfast and, while waiting for his ride, felt an urgent call of nature and made a mad dash to the outhouse--the tails of his ratty-looking Humphrey Bogart trench coat flapping in the musty Mississippi morning fog--arriving just in time to avert disaster.

He was just finishing the paperwork when he heard the horn of his carpoolmobile tooting outside, and since both time and such vehicles waited for no man, in his haste to make his presence known he inadvertently knocked his coat off the poorly-located nail it had been hanging on.

Few things in life are as iron-clad certain as the likelihood that the coat would smoothly slide through the second of the outhouse's holes.

Alexon summoned the impatient passengers and together they got a thick branch/small limb terminating in a "Y" (which had been used to support the middle of a clothes line), and in a concerted effort--after several unsuccessfully attempts to snag the coat, each one ending with it slipping off, causing an even greater accumulation of effluvia on the cloth--they managed to get it back out through the hole, dumping it in a pile (the odour of which would tan leather at 40' downwind).

"HAH!", said the first "coonass", who could do more than squawk only because he was upwind, "Alexon! You caint wear dat coat! It's all covered with shee-__"!

"I doan wants ta WEAR it!' was Alexon's indignant reply.

"Well, then wye you go to da trubble o' gettin it OUT fo'?" came the exclamation of complete bewilderment.

"Cause, man," the most obvious of many possible reasons was given, "I gots my lunch in the pock-et!"
Last edited by David McWethy on Wed Apr 15, 2015 11:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
"The time has come," the Walrus said, "to talk of many things...."

LukeJavan8
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Re: Loo

Postby LukeJavan8 » Tue Apr 14, 2015 3:35 pm

:lol:
-----please, draw me a sheep-----

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call_copse
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Re: Loo

Postby call_copse » Wed Apr 15, 2015 5:37 am

A rich and colourful tale, thanks :)
Iain

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Dr. Goodword
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Re: Loo

Postby Dr. Goodword » Wed Apr 15, 2015 10:40 pm

Two guys were moving an outhouse when one of their jackets dropped into the whole. The other guy was surprised to see him jump in the hole after it.
"Are you crazy?" he asked in amazement.
"No," replied the first guy, "My sandwich is in the pocket. It's all I have for lunch."
• The Good Dr. Goodword

LukeJavan8
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Re: Loo

Postby LukeJavan8 » Thu Apr 16, 2015 12:05 pm

:?:
Isn't that what David expounded on above?
-----please, draw me a sheep-----

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Slava
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Re: Loo

Postby Slava » Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:04 pm

I'm thinking it is there to show how the same tale can be told without the stereotyping language of the first version. Many people would consider it derogatory.

Then again, that's just IMNSHO.
Life is like playing chess with chessmen who each have thoughts and feelings and motives of their own.

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David McWethy
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Re: Loo

Postby David McWethy » Fri Apr 17, 2015 10:07 am

Dr. G. must have been a bit rushed when he wrote that:
Two guys were moving an outhouse when one of their jackets dropped into the whole
without giving so much as a hint as to how the jacket managed (presumably without any help from "the guy") to shuck itself from its wearer, and of its own volition dropped "into the whole". That would be self-evident,would it not? The coat could hardly drop "into the half"--or "three-quarters" now could it?. Besides, in the words of Andrew Johnson,
It's a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word.
I disagree with the notion that using the original regional patois as a spice to flavor the telling and give it authenticity, just as "house" is almost pronounced as "hoose" in many of the northern states, should be assiduously avoided.

So what if "Many people would consider it derogatory"? Many people still think that a flat earth is real but the moon walk was entirely done with computer-generated images. Are we to pander to every person or group who MIGHT, when the moon is right, take umbrage at any word, inflection, or subject that's on their personal "black list"? For starts, there goes all the Bill Cosby recordings...

If the story is to be sanitized to the point where it could not possibly offend any person, group, belief system, now or in the future, we'd be left with:
Two men were doing some distasteful work, and the jacket of one, contained his (soy-meat and organic bread) lunch, and became contaminated with fecal coliform and e.coli bacteria
and had to be to destroyed in an approved EPA and OSHA manner.
Snore....
"The time has come," the Walrus said, "to talk of many things...."

LukeJavan8
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Re: Loo

Postby LukeJavan8 » Fri Apr 17, 2015 11:01 am

Right on: political correctness = snore. Sorry if it offends, but
I stand by my statement.



IMNSHO = ? (I don't now nor ever will text), so it is lost
in translation.
-----please, draw me a sheep-----

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Slava
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Re: Loo

Postby Slava » Fri Apr 17, 2015 11:21 am

In My Not So Humble Opinion.
Life is like playing chess with chessmen who each have thoughts and feelings and motives of their own.

LukeJavan8
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Re: Loo

Postby LukeJavan8 » Fri Apr 17, 2015 11:28 am

Appreciate it. Thanks.
-----please, draw me a sheep-----

Perry Lassiter
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Re: Loo

Postby Perry Lassiter » Fri Apr 17, 2015 7:26 pm

David, it's been proven that Michael Jackson performed the original moonwalk with no chicanery, although his expertise has been captured on film and likely digitized. Also copied. I recently saw a FB post of a guy that seemed. Almost as good.
pl


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