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Decidedly uncosmopolitan, but may be worth it
Posted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 11:42 am
by dsteve54
Here is an idiomatic phrase that will probably forever tag you as a hayseed, whether you are or not.
However, it is so vivid it might be apropos for anyone willing to "take that risk":
".....it's as frustratin' as tryin' to push a wheelbarrow with rope handles".
I've used this, but I can't recall hearing it from others. I think I ran across it in some sort of local color vernacular from the Midwest. Since I am from Kansas City, figuratively speaking, the shoe seemed to fit, so I wore it.
Only problem: takes a second to spit out....too bad it cannot become some kind of acronym, a la FUBAR.
Unfortunately, FATTPAWWRH just does not cut it.
Posted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 4:40 pm
by Bailey
or nailin' jello to the wall.
mark goes-for-short-heh-heh Bailey
Posted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 9:22 pm
by gailr
...or herding cats...
Posted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 9:52 pm
by Perry
...or herding cats...
That's one that I frequently use. (I have 3 kids to keep organized!)
Posted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 10:20 pm
by Bailey
oh, hey do you know the pleasures of juggling kittens, fun for all.
mark those-are-not-scratches Bailey
My 2ยข
Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2007 1:04 pm
by eberntson
You wanna get where? Huh! , I wouldn't start from here! (Midwestern at least according to my source)
Can't get thar' from here. (Downeast Maine-ism)
herding cats
Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2007 8:48 pm
by melissa
Sorry, the Mainism is 'wicked easy' followed by an explanation of how to attain New Hampshire ( I think)
left cat, bite right ear
Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2007 8:56 pm
by melissa
or is it the other way around? cat logic (and NH/VT) those kitties are doing it wrong, or at least upside down?
One of them is pointed the wrong way!
Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2007 2:56 pm
by eberntson
Cats regard people as warmblooded furniture.
Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2007 3:38 pm
by Perry
Cats regard people as warmblooded furniture.
Good one!
Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2007 10:44 am
by Bailey
That last reminded me of this:
From a Dog's Diary:
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Diary:
Day 683 of my captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates of what I am capable. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He obviously has a screw loose.
The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe ... for now.
The very first thing one of those supposedly aloof and 'independant' creatures does is jump on MY lap, [a person not at all enthusiastic about their existance] and they stick their tail tips right up my nose, ACHOOOOOOOOO. They aren't really independant if they must try so hard to curry favor from a detractor.
mark dog-proponent Bailey
Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2007 10:56 am
by eberntson
LOL!
Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 12:48 am
by melissa
@Bailey, it's funny 'cause it's true. I meet a stranger's dog on the street and as soon as we make eye contact, I know exactly what the doggie's thinking. Live with a cat for 10 years, not a clue. Cats may think of us as talented magicians ( we make daylight by poking the wall, produce food out of nowhere, etc.) but they know they can control us through their superior intellect. If cats could talk, they would say things like "I don't see the problem here".
Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 2:46 am
by gailr
Cats are civil disobedience incarnate.
They spend much of each day meditating on Thoreau.
Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 9:07 am
by Bailey
I disagree cats spend their days meditating on themselves.
mark we-are-Siamese-if-you-don't-please Bailey