Dr. Goodword’s Language Blog

Armed Threats in the Slow Lane

Slow-lane officers in my hometown defused a dangerous situation which, no doubt and unfortunately, will be repeated elsewhere as the demand for more arms on our streets continues to rise. The Sunbury Daily Item reported Thursday that an armed gunman entered the Lewisburg courthouse insulting the local constabulary and threatening to rob a bank. (No doubt he intended to ask directions to one, too.)

Sheriff Ernie Ritter reported, “We made sure the area around the situation was safe, and then we began to move in,” Ritter said. “We assisted the man to the ground without incident and found a .45 Springfield Armory handgun with multiple magazines on him.”

Exactly why the man wanted to be on the ground was not made clear but then we in the slow lane can live with fuzzy details. Protection from himself, no doubt, was high on his mind. The important thing is that the man was neither thrown nor wrestled to the ground but merely assisted there. The reponse was the helpful, more Samaritanical and, hence, more appropriate to the simple and gentler life we are accustomed to here in the Slow Lane.

2 Responses to “Armed Threats in the Slow Lane”

  1. Brn Says:

    I’m confused: How is this an example of right-wing bullying (much less rhetoric spinning out of control)? Are you privy to some information that is not in the story, or that I missed, that explains that this man was a conservative?

  2. Stargzer Says:

    “… as right-wing rhetoric and bullying continues to spin out of control.”

    Oh, my good Good Word friend, thy speech betrays thee! Whilst I have been separated from the collegial Jesuit atmosphere in Taxachusetts lo these 37 years, thou hast only recently (comparatively) been freed from the radical left-wing brainwashing in that seditious institution of lower learning in Lewisburg, a fellow-traveller of the Crusaders of Taxachusetts in that notoriously mis-named “Patriot League.”

    In thy diatribe directed at thy more Conservative or Libertarian brethren and sistren, thou hast committed that most grievous rhetorical sin of of “argumentum ad (multiple) hominem.” As well, thou hast distracted us from the main topic of your article, that is, the substitution of the gentler word “assisted” for the most likely and more correct term, “forced.”

    Thou seem to recognize that such substitution is a major part of the left-wing attempt at thought-control called political correctness, and most properly scathe it with satire, yet thy scurrilous attack betrays the effect the academics have had on thee. We should rejoice that the recognition of said substitution testifies that the transformation, despite the number of years in formation, is not yet complete. Return to the land of the birth and be saved, before it is too late!

    That said, there is no mention in the Sunbury Daily Item of the man’s political disposition. He is described as standing in a parking lot outside a courthouse, threatening to rob a bank, claiming to be armed, and muttering insults at police. This is not the behavior of a normal person, or even a normal criminal. He apparently was not displaying a weapon, as it was not found until he was well grounded. That it was a “serious and potentially a dangerous situation” is evident, but no mention of any nearby demonstrations of Conservatives or Libetarians was mentioned in the article. The man was either a loon, since anyone really wanting to rob a bank would not stand outside a courthouse and advertise that fact to law enforcement personnel, or an Obama supporter looking for 5 to 15 years of free housing, food, medical care, and a well-equipped gymnasium.


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