Alphadictionary.com

Westernized Haiku


Haiku Windows Alerts


Did you ever wonder how Windows and Internet popup alerts would sound had they been written by the Japanese, the source of haunting Haiku poetry? Well, we consider it an important issue. So, we are grateful that someone went to the trouble of suggesting an answer to that important question.

EPHEMERAL

A file that big?

It might be very useful.

But now it is gone.

DEATH

Windows has crashed.

I am the Blue Screen of Death.

No one hears your screams.

IMPERFECTION

Login incorrect.

Only perfect spellers may

enter this system.

404

This site has moved.

We'd tell you where, but then we'd

have to delete you.

SAILING

This crash reduces

your expensive computer

to a perfect boat anchor.

VALLEY

There is a chasm

of carbon and silicon

the software cannot bridge.

WINDOWS

Yesterday it worked.

Today, it is not working.

Windows is like that.

Author: Randy

Redneck Haiku


We are sure you have always wondered what if haiku were written by people like Andry Griffin and the Dukes of Hazard. Now, there is an issue that comes up every day in our lives. Again, we are fortunate that Paul Ogden found someone sensitive enough to explore this question and below are the results of their musings.


BEAUTY

Naked in repose

Silvery silhouette girls

Adorn my mudflaps.

REMORSE

A painful sadness

Big screen TV refused entry

By double-wide's front door.

OPTIONS

Unemployment's out.

Disability now takes on

An inviting glow.

MOTHER AND CHILD

Crusted in boogers,

Stained with Kool-Aid, baby with face

Only Mama loves.

BLAZE

Distant siren screams

Verne's been mowing with

Moonshine again.

A NEW MOON

Flashlights pierce darkness

No nightcrawlers in the ground;

Guess we'll gig some frogs.

EXUBERANCE

Joyous, playful, bright

Trailer park girl rolls in puddle

Left by afternoon rain.

ALONE

Seeking solitude

Carl's ex-wife Tammy files fer

Restraining order.

DESIRE

Damn, in that tube-top

You make me almost fergit

That you're my sister.

HATRED

I curse the rainbow

Emblazoned upon his hood

Hot-dang Jeff Gordon.

OFFERINGS

Tonight we hunger

Grandma sent grocery money

To Robert Tilton.

DRAMA

Set the VCR

Dukes of Hazzard Marathon

Starts at 9 O'Clock.

DEPRIVED

In WalMart toy aisle

Wailing boy wants rasslin' doll

Mama whups his butt..

NO SIGNAL

White noise, buzzing static

Call Earl; the satellite dish

needs new descrambler.

IMPOUNDED

Sixty-five dollars and

That cyclone fence

Keeps me frommy El Camino.

GATHERING

In early morning mist

Mama searches Circle K for

Moon Pies and RC Cola.

PRIDE

Grinning, he displays

The nine hundred beer cans that

Fill his pickup bed.

From the prodigious collection of Paul Ogden

Return to the Laughing Stock

Return to the Fun Pages

Return to the Word Play main page