Lehrer, who was also a Harvard mathematician, is better known for songs such as "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park."
This one is also there:Silent E (1971)
(This song was written for the PBS children's show "The Electric Company" in 1971. It appeared on an Electric Company album, and later a Sesame Street album. Both of these releases were stereo. It appears in mono as a bonus track on the CD of Tom Lehrer Revisited.)
Who can turn a can into a cane?
Who can turn a pan into a pane?
It's not too hard to see,
It's Silent E.
Who can turn a cub into a cube?
Who can turn a tub into a tube?
It's elementary
For Silent E.
He took a pin and turned it into a pine.
He took a twin and turned him into twine.
Who can turn a cap into a cape?
Who can turn a tap into a tape?
A little glob becomes a globe instantly,
If you just add Silent E.
He turned a dam - Alikazam! - into a dame.
But my friend Sam stayed just the same.
Who can turn a man into a mane?
Who can turn a van into a vane?
A little hug becomes huge instantly.
Don't add W, Don't add X, And don't add Y or Z,
Just add Silent E.
L-Y (1972)
(This song was written for "The Electric Company" TV show in 1972, but was never released on record until it showed up in 1990 as a bonus track on the CD of Tom Lehrer Revisited.)
You're wearing your squeaky shoes,
And right there taking a snooze
Is a tiger, so how do you walk on by?
[loud whisper]
Silently, silently, Silent L.Y.
You're a secret agent man
Who's after the secret plan.
How do you act so they don't know you're a spy?
[acting suspiciously]
Normally [whistle], normally [whistle], Normal L.Y.
At an eating contest you boast
That you can eat the most.
How do you down your fiftieth piece of pie?
[nauseated]
Eagerly (ugh!), eagerly (yech!), Eager L.Y.
On the lake your boat upset,
And your clothes got soaking wet.
How do you stand and wait for them to dry?
[shivering]
D-d-d-d-d-d-patiently, D-d-d-d-d-d-patiently, D-d-d-d-d-d-patient L.Y.
In the public library
You fall and hurt your knee.
But the sign says QUIET PLEASE, so how can you cry?
[crying]
Quietly [sniff], quietly [sniff], Quiet L.Y.
As you walk along the street
A porcupine you meet.
How do you shake his hand when he says "hi"?
[warily]
Ah, carefully, carefully, Careful L.Y.
You enter a very dark room,
And sitting there in the gloom
Is Dracula.
Now how do you say goodbye?
Immediately, immediately, Immediate L.Y.
Bye bye!