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sorry, I had to pass these on!

Postby KatyBr » Sat Feb 26, 2005 3:34 am

1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron."The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

4. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here".

5. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

6. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:"A beer please, and one for the road."

7. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

8. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green, Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's Not Unusual."

9. Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.

10. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

11. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."

13. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

14. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."

15. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I cut off your arms!"

16. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

17. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

18. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

19. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

Sorry I got these in the email tonigt, If just one person gets one small chuckle out of them, my job was done!

Katy
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Postby M. Henri Day » Sat Feb 26, 2005 8:11 pm

Loved them, Katy ! And was relieved to note that the protagonist in number 5 was a man - think of all the trouble in which we could have found ourselves, had it been a woman (but then they do it all the time) !...

Henri
曾记否,到中流击水,浪遏飞舟?
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Postby Apoclima » Sat Feb 26, 2005 8:36 pm

Yeah, thanks, Katy! I liked them, but the first one was the best!

Apo
'Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination.' -Max Planck
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Postby KatyBr » Sat Feb 26, 2005 8:51 pm

yeah, my friends all know I like the funny emails the best, I have a huge collection of clean jokes; I may put on a clean joke website sometime!

Katy
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Postby tcward » Sun Feb 27, 2005 12:33 am

I liked them all, as well... But for some reason #5 tickled me more than the rest, I think.

-Tim
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Postby Stargzer » Mon Feb 28, 2005 11:03 pm

I run in to #11 at work all the time . . .

:D

#18 is a candidate for the Spelling forum . . .
Regards//Larry

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