Over the next month I will be posting my alternative versions of some well-known Christmas hymns and carols, paraphrasing the originals and making some additions. Some will be serious, others more light-hearted. Any bathos is deliberate!
You are welcome to make your own contributions to this thread.
Here we go:
Good King Wenceslas
Good King Wenceslas looked out
On the feast of Yule;
The air that night, without a doubt,
Was more than slightly cool.
The moon revealed a peasant who
Was bearing wood for heating;
The king asked God what he should do,
Then called an urgent meeting.
The monarch cried "We must give aid!
Where lives that hapless yokel?"
His page replied "In that far glade –
I wouldn't call him local".
"No matter", said the saintly king,
"We'll take him things to eat.
Alert the kitchen staff, and bring
Some ale, fresh bread, and meat".
They donned a heavy winter cloak
And left the gilded palace.
They pitied needy rural folk
And had no pride or malice.
But having walked about a mile,
The page began to stagger.
"Your Majesty, the frost is vile
And pierces like a dagger."
His master gave this sage advice:
"Now let me lead the way;
Walk where my footsteps melt the ice,
And then you'll be OK".
His words were thankfully received.
The king said "Lauda Deum".
The page, in awe and much relieved,
Cried "Laudo regem meum!"
We don't know what the peasant said
When Wenceslas arrived;
Perhaps "You should have used a sled",
Or maybe "I survived!"
But still, the moral is: be kind
To those whom Fate would wreck,
Just like that loyal lackey and
The pious regal Czech.
Alternative Christmas hymns
Alternative Christmas hymns
Last edited by Audiendus on Fri Dec 01, 2023 10:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Slava
- Great Grand Panjandrum
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Re: Alternative Christmas hymns
Very nicely done, I look forward to seeing more of your work soon.
Life is like playing chess with chessmen who each have thoughts and feelings and motives of their own.
Re: Alternative Christmas hymns
Once in Royal David's City
Once in royal David's city
Stood a stable near an inn,
Where a newborn and his mother
Dwelt together, free of sin.
Christ and Mary were the pair
Seated by the manger there.
Christ indeed – our Lord and Saviour
Of the Holy Trinity,
Who upon his throne in Heaven
Measures out infinity,
Now to human form abased;
With his light our world is graced.
He advanced in mind and body
At his home in Nazareth,
Heedful of the Fifth Commandment,
Wise in thought of life and death.
Thus inspired by Jesus' name,
Other kids should act the same.
As with that of mortal children,
His development progressed:
Infant, boy and adolescent,
Now elated, now depressed.
Evermore he looks with care
On our joy and our despair.
Of his life and crucifixion,
Of his love in word and deed,
Of his mighty resurrection,
We today can only read.
But he'll take you, if you're nice,
All the way to paradise.
There, among the saints and angels,
Cherubim and Seraphim,
With the ranks of the departed,
We shall set our eyes on him.
Then, for all eternity,
We shall gaze in ecstasy.
We Three Kings of Orient Are
We three kings of Orient are,
Westward bound in search of a Shah.
Camels riding, gifts providing,
Led by a light bizarre.
O star portentous, star divine,
Star of deity benign,
Onward moving, kingship proving,
Long may thou, our guidance, shine!
"I, my friends, am carrying gold –
Regal, weighty, bright to behold.
Never greying nor decaying,
Honest in price, and bold."
O star portentous...
"I am bearing frankincense,
Lacking gold's monarchic expense,
Nor as luminous, though more numinous,
Apt for a God immense."
O star portentous...
"Myrrh recalls the funeral knell,
Masking death's unbearable smell,
Pain, affliction, crucifixion,
As the great prophets tell."
O star portentous...
O Come All Ye Faithful
O come, all ye faithful,
Happy and victorious,
O come, folks, and get along to David's town!
Gaze at the infant,
Worship our Redeemer!
O join the celebration, O join the celebration,
O join the celebration and all bow down!
He is the Father,
Son and Holy Spirit,
Born of a sinless maid to claim his crown!
Now the Almighty
Lives among his people!
O join the celebration, O join the celebration,
O join the celebration and all bow down!
Angels, surround him,
Sound your harps and trumpets,
Chant your chorales and play your coolest chord!
We will beat drums with
Joyful syncopation.
O join the celebration, O join the celebration,
O join the celebration of the Lord.
Now it is Christmas;
Pause your avid feasting.
Here's to the Trinity! Hip, hip, hooray!
Three hearty cheers will
Mark our great salvation!
O join the celebration, O join the celebration,
O join the celebration this merry day!
Away in a Manger
Away in a manger, with oxen and sheep,
The little Lord Jesus went softly to sleep.
The beasts were respectful, the stars were serene,
And nothing disturbed that miraculous scene.
Next morning the farmyard commotion resumed,
But Jesus stayed calm as the horses were groomed.
O may thy example protect me from fright,
And let me dream blithely, Lord, all through the night.
Remain in my presence while I am a child;
Preserve me, when grown, from the wicked and wild;
And treat every youngster with just the same love,
That we may be worthy to join thee above.
Once in royal David's city
Stood a stable near an inn,
Where a newborn and his mother
Dwelt together, free of sin.
Christ and Mary were the pair
Seated by the manger there.
Christ indeed – our Lord and Saviour
Of the Holy Trinity,
Who upon his throne in Heaven
Measures out infinity,
Now to human form abased;
With his light our world is graced.
He advanced in mind and body
At his home in Nazareth,
Heedful of the Fifth Commandment,
Wise in thought of life and death.
Thus inspired by Jesus' name,
Other kids should act the same.
As with that of mortal children,
His development progressed:
Infant, boy and adolescent,
Now elated, now depressed.
Evermore he looks with care
On our joy and our despair.
Of his life and crucifixion,
Of his love in word and deed,
Of his mighty resurrection,
We today can only read.
But he'll take you, if you're nice,
All the way to paradise.
There, among the saints and angels,
Cherubim and Seraphim,
With the ranks of the departed,
We shall set our eyes on him.
Then, for all eternity,
We shall gaze in ecstasy.
We Three Kings of Orient Are
We three kings of Orient are,
Westward bound in search of a Shah.
Camels riding, gifts providing,
Led by a light bizarre.
O star portentous, star divine,
Star of deity benign,
Onward moving, kingship proving,
Long may thou, our guidance, shine!
"I, my friends, am carrying gold –
Regal, weighty, bright to behold.
Never greying nor decaying,
Honest in price, and bold."
O star portentous...
"I am bearing frankincense,
Lacking gold's monarchic expense,
Nor as luminous, though more numinous,
Apt for a God immense."
O star portentous...
"Myrrh recalls the funeral knell,
Masking death's unbearable smell,
Pain, affliction, crucifixion,
As the great prophets tell."
O star portentous...
O Come All Ye Faithful
O come, all ye faithful,
Happy and victorious,
O come, folks, and get along to David's town!
Gaze at the infant,
Worship our Redeemer!
O join the celebration, O join the celebration,
O join the celebration and all bow down!
He is the Father,
Son and Holy Spirit,
Born of a sinless maid to claim his crown!
Now the Almighty
Lives among his people!
O join the celebration, O join the celebration,
O join the celebration and all bow down!
Angels, surround him,
Sound your harps and trumpets,
Chant your chorales and play your coolest chord!
We will beat drums with
Joyful syncopation.
O join the celebration, O join the celebration,
O join the celebration of the Lord.
Now it is Christmas;
Pause your avid feasting.
Here's to the Trinity! Hip, hip, hooray!
Three hearty cheers will
Mark our great salvation!
O join the celebration, O join the celebration,
O join the celebration this merry day!
Away in a Manger
Away in a manger, with oxen and sheep,
The little Lord Jesus went softly to sleep.
The beasts were respectful, the stars were serene,
And nothing disturbed that miraculous scene.
Next morning the farmyard commotion resumed,
But Jesus stayed calm as the horses were groomed.
O may thy example protect me from fright,
And let me dream blithely, Lord, all through the night.
Remain in my presence while I am a child;
Preserve me, when grown, from the wicked and wild;
And treat every youngster with just the same love,
That we may be worthy to join thee above.
Re: Alternative Christmas hymns
Ding, dong, merrily on high
Ding, dong! merrily on high
In heaven the bells are pealing.
Ding, dong! listen to the cry
Of joy and festive feeling.
Gloria, hosanna in excelsis!
Angels happily descend
To tell of Jesus' coming,
With accompanying blend
Of lutes and zithers strumming.
Gloria, hosanna in excelsis!
Shepherds hurry to the place
Where Christ abides in glory;
Scribes, with reverence and grace,
Report the wondrous story.
Gloria, hosanna in excelsis!
Wise men living in the East
With holies, seers and vatics,
Taking counsel from a priest,
Bring gold and aromatics.
Gloria, hosanna in excelsis!
Herod, with his cunning plan,
Attempts to spoil the party.
But God thwarts the horrid man,
Wherefore our thanks are hearty.
Gloria, hosanna in excelsis!
Adam grew a little bored,
And tired of Eden's languor,
So he disobeyed the Lord,
Which caused Jehovah's anger.
Gloria, hosanna in excelsis!
We inherited his sin,
With Mary's sole exemption.
We were ruined with our kin,
But now we have redemption!
Gloria, hosanna in excelsis!
God so mercifully sent
His son to gain our ransom.
Three days dead, then up he went,
And his reward was handsome.
Gloria, hosanna in excelsis!
When we finally arrive
At Heaven's golden portals,
We will gratefully survive
As God's beloved immortals.
Gloria, hosanna in excelsis!
With the joy he doth bestow
On layman, dean and vicar,
Let the holy spirit flow
And toast our Lord with liquor.
Gloria, hosanna in excelsis!
O Little Town of Bethlehem
O little town of Bethlehem,
How calm thou art tonight!
Above thy sleeping citizens
The gliding stars are bright.
But lo! among thy pastures
Abides the light supreme;
Behind an inn, defeating sin,
There shines its deathless beam.
Not as a martial conqueror
Does God reveal his power,
But through his one beloved son
At midnight's noiseless hour.
No thunderclap or tremor marks
The moment of his birth,
No tolling bell, yet we can tell
His grace upon this Earth.
By day, his glory is at hand,
And clamour now is meet.
So let the mighty heavens roar
His praise in every street.
O Cherubim, O Seraphim,
Sing out your Yuletide airs;
Believers all, approach the stall,
And chant your thankful prayers.
Today, this joyous Christmastide,
We beg for his return,
And search our whole adoring soul,
His presence to discern.
The angels who kept vigil then
Have broken out in song;
O Lord, attend us and defend
Our wayward hearts from wrong.
O little town of Bethlehem,
Thy grandeur doth exceed
The might of Rome and Babylon,
Those dens of vice and greed!
For God has favoured with his love
A pure and humble place;
So now we pray that he will stay
To show his wondrous face.
Ding, dong! merrily on high
In heaven the bells are pealing.
Ding, dong! listen to the cry
Of joy and festive feeling.
Gloria, hosanna in excelsis!
Angels happily descend
To tell of Jesus' coming,
With accompanying blend
Of lutes and zithers strumming.
Gloria, hosanna in excelsis!
Shepherds hurry to the place
Where Christ abides in glory;
Scribes, with reverence and grace,
Report the wondrous story.
Gloria, hosanna in excelsis!
Wise men living in the East
With holies, seers and vatics,
Taking counsel from a priest,
Bring gold and aromatics.
Gloria, hosanna in excelsis!
Herod, with his cunning plan,
Attempts to spoil the party.
But God thwarts the horrid man,
Wherefore our thanks are hearty.
Gloria, hosanna in excelsis!
Adam grew a little bored,
And tired of Eden's languor,
So he disobeyed the Lord,
Which caused Jehovah's anger.
Gloria, hosanna in excelsis!
We inherited his sin,
With Mary's sole exemption.
We were ruined with our kin,
But now we have redemption!
Gloria, hosanna in excelsis!
God so mercifully sent
His son to gain our ransom.
Three days dead, then up he went,
And his reward was handsome.
Gloria, hosanna in excelsis!
When we finally arrive
At Heaven's golden portals,
We will gratefully survive
As God's beloved immortals.
Gloria, hosanna in excelsis!
With the joy he doth bestow
On layman, dean and vicar,
Let the holy spirit flow
And toast our Lord with liquor.
Gloria, hosanna in excelsis!
O Little Town of Bethlehem
O little town of Bethlehem,
How calm thou art tonight!
Above thy sleeping citizens
The gliding stars are bright.
But lo! among thy pastures
Abides the light supreme;
Behind an inn, defeating sin,
There shines its deathless beam.
Not as a martial conqueror
Does God reveal his power,
But through his one beloved son
At midnight's noiseless hour.
No thunderclap or tremor marks
The moment of his birth,
No tolling bell, yet we can tell
His grace upon this Earth.
By day, his glory is at hand,
And clamour now is meet.
So let the mighty heavens roar
His praise in every street.
O Cherubim, O Seraphim,
Sing out your Yuletide airs;
Believers all, approach the stall,
And chant your thankful prayers.
Today, this joyous Christmastide,
We beg for his return,
And search our whole adoring soul,
His presence to discern.
The angels who kept vigil then
Have broken out in song;
O Lord, attend us and defend
Our wayward hearts from wrong.
O little town of Bethlehem,
Thy grandeur doth exceed
The might of Rome and Babylon,
Those dens of vice and greed!
For God has favoured with his love
A pure and humble place;
So now we pray that he will stay
To show his wondrous face.
Re: Alternative Christmas hymns
Tom Lehrer on Christmas:
Christmas time is here, by golly,
Disapproval would be folly.
Deck the halls with hunks of holly,
Fill the cup and don't say when.
Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens,
Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens.
Even though the prospect sickens,
Brother, here we go again.
On Christmas Day you can't get sore,
Your fellow man you must adore.
There's time to rob him all the more
The other three hundred and sixty-four.
Relations, sparing no expense'll,
Send some useless old utensil,
Or a matching pen and pencil.
("Just the thing I need, how nice!")
It doesn't matter how sincere it is,
Nor how heart felt the spirit,
Sentiment will not endear it,
What's important is the price.
Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things.
God rest ye merry merchants,
May ye make the Yuletide pay.
Angels we have heard on high,
Tell us to go out and buy!
So let the raucous sleighbells jingle,
Hail our dear old friend Kriss Kringle,
Driving his reindeer across the sky.
Don't stand underneath when they fly by.
Christmas time is here, by golly,
Disapproval would be folly.
Deck the halls with hunks of holly,
Fill the cup and don't say when.
Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens,
Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens.
Even though the prospect sickens,
Brother, here we go again.
On Christmas Day you can't get sore,
Your fellow man you must adore.
There's time to rob him all the more
The other three hundred and sixty-four.
Relations, sparing no expense'll,
Send some useless old utensil,
Or a matching pen and pencil.
("Just the thing I need, how nice!")
It doesn't matter how sincere it is,
Nor how heart felt the spirit,
Sentiment will not endear it,
What's important is the price.
Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things.
God rest ye merry merchants,
May ye make the Yuletide pay.
Angels we have heard on high,
Tell us to go out and buy!
So let the raucous sleighbells jingle,
Hail our dear old friend Kriss Kringle,
Driving his reindeer across the sky.
Don't stand underneath when they fly by.
Re: Alternative Christmas hymns
Since we've gotten to Tom Lehrer (one of the joys of my childhood), I will offer a recorded interlude -- the 75th Latin Carol Celebration at Brown University: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dni9tmfi_Ys.
With the exception of a few offerings in Greek or Sanskrit (chanted), plus a few slips by the folks on the dais, all is in Latin. One of the treasured high points is "Duodecim Dies Natalis", introduced at about 1:00 in the video. Herewith the words.
DUODECIM DIES NATALIS
Primo die festali amator mi misit
Perdricem in piro.
Secundo die festo amator mi misit
Duas columbas,
Perdricem in piro.
Tertio die festali amator mi misit
Tres Francogallinas,
Duas columbas,
Perdricem in piro.
Quarto die festali amator mi misit
Quattuor passerculas,
Tres Francogallinas,
Duas columbas,
Perdricem in piro.
Quinto die festali amator mi misit
Quinqu’ auranulos,
Quattuor passerculas,
Tres Francogallinas,
Duas columbas,
Perdricem in piro.
Sexto die festali amator mi misit
Sex anseres parentes,
Quinqu’ auranulos,
Quattuor passerculas,
Tres Francogallinas,
Duas columbas,
Perdricem in piro.
Septimo die festo amator mi misit
Septem cycnos natantes,
Sex anseres parentes,
Quinqu’ auranulos,
Quattuor passerculas,
Tres Francogallinas,
Duas columbas,
Perdricem in piro.
Octavo die festo amator mi misit
Octo puellas mulgentes,
Septem cycnos natantes,
Sex anseres parentes,
Quinqu’ auranulos,
Quattuor passerculas,
Tres Francogallinas,
Duas columbas,
Perdricem in piro.
Nono die festali amator mi misit
Novem dominas saltantes,
Octo puellas mulgentes,
Septem cycnos natantes,
Sex anseres parentes,
Quinqu’ auranulos,
Quattuor passerculas,
Tres Francogallinas,
Duas columbas,
Perdricem in piro.
Decimo die festo amator mi misit
Decem dominos exsultantes,
Novem dominas saltantes,
Octo puellas mulgentes,
Septem cycnos natantes,
Sex anseres parentes,
Quinqu’ auranulos,
Quattuor passerculas,
Tres Francogallinas,
Duas columbas,
Perdricem in pirro,
Undecimo die festo amator mi misit
Undecim tibicenes inflantes,
Decem dominos exsultantes,
Novem dominas saltantes,
Octo puellas mulgentes,
Septem cycnos natantes,
Sex anseres parentes,
Quinqu’ auranulos,
Quattuor passerculas,
Tres Francogallinas,
Duas columbas,
Perdricem in piro.
Duodecimo die festo amator mi misit
Duodecim tympanistas pulsantes,
Undecim tibicenes inflantes,
Decem dominos exsultantes,
Novem dominas saltantes,
Octo puellas mulgentes,
Septem cycnos natantes,
Sex anseres parentes,
Quinqu’ auranulos,
Quattuor passerculas,
Tres Francogallinas,
Duas columbas,
Perdricem in piro!
(Eunice Burr Couch, transl.; copyright 1954)
With the exception of a few offerings in Greek or Sanskrit (chanted), plus a few slips by the folks on the dais, all is in Latin. One of the treasured high points is "Duodecim Dies Natalis", introduced at about 1:00 in the video. Herewith the words.
DUODECIM DIES NATALIS
Primo die festali amator mi misit
Perdricem in piro.
Secundo die festo amator mi misit
Duas columbas,
Perdricem in piro.
Tertio die festali amator mi misit
Tres Francogallinas,
Duas columbas,
Perdricem in piro.
Quarto die festali amator mi misit
Quattuor passerculas,
Tres Francogallinas,
Duas columbas,
Perdricem in piro.
Quinto die festali amator mi misit
Quinqu’ auranulos,
Quattuor passerculas,
Tres Francogallinas,
Duas columbas,
Perdricem in piro.
Sexto die festali amator mi misit
Sex anseres parentes,
Quinqu’ auranulos,
Quattuor passerculas,
Tres Francogallinas,
Duas columbas,
Perdricem in piro.
Septimo die festo amator mi misit
Septem cycnos natantes,
Sex anseres parentes,
Quinqu’ auranulos,
Quattuor passerculas,
Tres Francogallinas,
Duas columbas,
Perdricem in piro.
Octavo die festo amator mi misit
Octo puellas mulgentes,
Septem cycnos natantes,
Sex anseres parentes,
Quinqu’ auranulos,
Quattuor passerculas,
Tres Francogallinas,
Duas columbas,
Perdricem in piro.
Nono die festali amator mi misit
Novem dominas saltantes,
Octo puellas mulgentes,
Septem cycnos natantes,
Sex anseres parentes,
Quinqu’ auranulos,
Quattuor passerculas,
Tres Francogallinas,
Duas columbas,
Perdricem in piro.
Decimo die festo amator mi misit
Decem dominos exsultantes,
Novem dominas saltantes,
Octo puellas mulgentes,
Septem cycnos natantes,
Sex anseres parentes,
Quinqu’ auranulos,
Quattuor passerculas,
Tres Francogallinas,
Duas columbas,
Perdricem in pirro,
Undecimo die festo amator mi misit
Undecim tibicenes inflantes,
Decem dominos exsultantes,
Novem dominas saltantes,
Octo puellas mulgentes,
Septem cycnos natantes,
Sex anseres parentes,
Quinqu’ auranulos,
Quattuor passerculas,
Tres Francogallinas,
Duas columbas,
Perdricem in piro.
Duodecimo die festo amator mi misit
Duodecim tympanistas pulsantes,
Undecim tibicenes inflantes,
Decem dominos exsultantes,
Novem dominas saltantes,
Octo puellas mulgentes,
Septem cycnos natantes,
Sex anseres parentes,
Quinqu’ auranulos,
Quattuor passerculas,
Tres Francogallinas,
Duas columbas,
Perdricem in piro!
(Eunice Burr Couch, transl.; copyright 1954)
Re: Alternative Christmas hymns
While Shepherds Watched their Flocks
While shepherds watched their grazing flocks
One dark and stormy night,
An angel sent by God appeared
And all was bathed in light.
"Don't worry, guys", he said, for they
Feared some demonic ruse.
"I've just come down from Paradise
And bring you splendid news.
"A babe is born in Bethlehem.
The case is slightly odd –
His ancestor is David, but
He is the son of God.
"No man can solve this paradox;
I, too, am quite unable.
Just hurry into town, and find
Him lying in a stable."
At once the holy messenger
Was joined by all his fellows,
Who sang this song of praise, attired
In lustrous reds and yellows:
"In Heaven joy, and on the Earth
An end to strife and war;
May God's tremendous love preserve
His people evermore!"
In dulci jubilo
In dulci jubilo
It's off to work we go!
Yesterday we saw a sight
Which gave us shepherds quite a fright;
We felt a sense of glory
Cum maximo timore,
Gratias Deo, gratias Deo!
An angel floated down
Above the sleepy town.
On the hill our muttons stirred;
The angel said "I'd like a word –
I have important things to say,
O pastores, audite me",
Gratias Deo, gratias Deo!
We gaze at him and go:
"Are you friend or foe?"
He looks at us and flaps his wings,
Then points towards the sky and sings:
"O Deus misit me
To speak to you today,
Gratias Deo, gratias Deo!
He then began to read
Some kind of holy screed
Written on a silver scroll.
I gasped and muttered "Bless my soul!
Te rogo, Domine,
What's he going to say?"
Gratias Deo, gratias Deo!
"I come to bring good news,
So banish all your blues!
In a stable near the inn
A babe is born to cleanse your sin,
Sic omnia peccata
Sunt hodie sublata,
Gratias Deo, gratias Deo!
"The Lord has sent his son,
So God and Man are one;
There among the sacks of oats,
No need to sort the sheep from goats,
O haec est bona nox,
For Christ will save his flocks,
Gratias Deo, gratias Deo!
"Go there and say your prayers,
And bring your humble wares;
Never mind the anvil's din
Or noisy horses from the inn,
Mirum erit videre
The babe and mother Mary,
Gratias Deo, gratias Deo!"
So then we went along
And hummed a merry song,
Joined the adoration queue
To get a really splendid view,
And moving forward slowly
We found it very holy,
Gratias Deo, gratias Deo!
We said to Mary: "Hi!"
She sang a lullaby.
Then the baby Jesus smiled,
And all the worshippers went wild;
Again we felt the glory,
And that concludes the story.
Gratias Deo, gratias Deo!
While shepherds watched their grazing flocks
One dark and stormy night,
An angel sent by God appeared
And all was bathed in light.
"Don't worry, guys", he said, for they
Feared some demonic ruse.
"I've just come down from Paradise
And bring you splendid news.
"A babe is born in Bethlehem.
The case is slightly odd –
His ancestor is David, but
He is the son of God.
"No man can solve this paradox;
I, too, am quite unable.
Just hurry into town, and find
Him lying in a stable."
At once the holy messenger
Was joined by all his fellows,
Who sang this song of praise, attired
In lustrous reds and yellows:
"In Heaven joy, and on the Earth
An end to strife and war;
May God's tremendous love preserve
His people evermore!"
In dulci jubilo
In dulci jubilo
It's off to work we go!
Yesterday we saw a sight
Which gave us shepherds quite a fright;
We felt a sense of glory
Cum maximo timore,
Gratias Deo, gratias Deo!
An angel floated down
Above the sleepy town.
On the hill our muttons stirred;
The angel said "I'd like a word –
I have important things to say,
O pastores, audite me",
Gratias Deo, gratias Deo!
We gaze at him and go:
"Are you friend or foe?"
He looks at us and flaps his wings,
Then points towards the sky and sings:
"O Deus misit me
To speak to you today,
Gratias Deo, gratias Deo!
He then began to read
Some kind of holy screed
Written on a silver scroll.
I gasped and muttered "Bless my soul!
Te rogo, Domine,
What's he going to say?"
Gratias Deo, gratias Deo!
"I come to bring good news,
So banish all your blues!
In a stable near the inn
A babe is born to cleanse your sin,
Sic omnia peccata
Sunt hodie sublata,
Gratias Deo, gratias Deo!
"The Lord has sent his son,
So God and Man are one;
There among the sacks of oats,
No need to sort the sheep from goats,
O haec est bona nox,
For Christ will save his flocks,
Gratias Deo, gratias Deo!
"Go there and say your prayers,
And bring your humble wares;
Never mind the anvil's din
Or noisy horses from the inn,
Mirum erit videre
The babe and mother Mary,
Gratias Deo, gratias Deo!"
So then we went along
And hummed a merry song,
Joined the adoration queue
To get a really splendid view,
And moving forward slowly
We found it very holy,
Gratias Deo, gratias Deo!
We said to Mary: "Hi!"
She sang a lullaby.
Then the baby Jesus smiled,
And all the worshippers went wild;
Again we felt the glory,
And that concludes the story.
Gratias Deo, gratias Deo!
Re: Alternative Christmas hymns
God rest you merry, gentlemen
God rest you merry, gentlemen, let nothing make you sad!
Remember the Almighty has sent his little lad
To purge us of our sinfulness and make the Devil mad,
O tidings of comfort and joy!
God rest you merry, ladies, the Virgin bids you share
Her patience and devotion and mild maternal care;
Now add your sweet soprano tones to our harmonious prayer,
O tidings of comfort and joy!
God rest you merry, children, St Nicholas shall bless
Your heart with gifts and promises, but never to excess;
The grateful child has more reward, the greedy one has less,
O tidings of comfort and joy!
Jingle bells
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle through the rain,
Oh what fun it is to ride on a rush-hour London train!
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle through the snow,
Oh what fun it is to ride when the warning signals glow!
Riding through the slush, in a big commuter crush,
Skidding on mushy leaves, with beggars, drunks and thieves,
Destination signs which show erroneous times,
No-one to explain. It's December once again!
God rest you merry, gentlemen, let nothing make you sad!
Remember the Almighty has sent his little lad
To purge us of our sinfulness and make the Devil mad,
O tidings of comfort and joy!
God rest you merry, ladies, the Virgin bids you share
Her patience and devotion and mild maternal care;
Now add your sweet soprano tones to our harmonious prayer,
O tidings of comfort and joy!
God rest you merry, children, St Nicholas shall bless
Your heart with gifts and promises, but never to excess;
The grateful child has more reward, the greedy one has less,
O tidings of comfort and joy!
Jingle bells
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle through the rain,
Oh what fun it is to ride on a rush-hour London train!
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle through the snow,
Oh what fun it is to ride when the warning signals glow!
Riding through the slush, in a big commuter crush,
Skidding on mushy leaves, with beggars, drunks and thieves,
Destination signs which show erroneous times,
No-one to explain. It's December once again!
Re: Alternative Christmas hymns
Hark, the Herald Angels Sing
Hark, the herald angels sing
Glory to the newborn King!
Some in Hebrew, some in Greek,
Some in lingo shepherds speak.
Latin for Augustus' crew,
Persian for the Magi too,
Dialects of every sort,
Our redemption to report.
Hark, the herald angels sing,
All can hear the news they bring!
Hark, their multifarious tones,
Underlain with bagpipes' drones;
Sackbuts, serpents, crystal lyres,
Counterpoint to twelve-part choirs.
Oboes and chromatic horns,
Clarinets which gold adorns,
Saxophones produced by saints,
Drums bedaubed with glowing paints.
Hark, the herald angels sing,
Let their melodies take wing!
Hark, the wondrous filigree
Of their great polyphony!
Passacaglias galore,
Canons, fugues, chaconnes and more.
Works to rival Bach's great Passions,
Blends of all stylistic fashions,
Themes from different times and lands,
Intertwined by Gabriel's bands.
Hark, the herald angels sing
Elements of everything!
Shepherds, goatherds, ostlers all,
Listen to the angels' call!
Burghers, leave your mansions great;
Peasants, quit your hovels strait!
All attend the holy manger,
Citizen or pious stranger;
Kneel and pray, or gently croon
Children's rhyme or cradle tune.
Hark, the herald angels sing
Glory to the newborn King!
Hark, the herald angels sing
Glory to the newborn King!
Some in Hebrew, some in Greek,
Some in lingo shepherds speak.
Latin for Augustus' crew,
Persian for the Magi too,
Dialects of every sort,
Our redemption to report.
Hark, the herald angels sing,
All can hear the news they bring!
Hark, their multifarious tones,
Underlain with bagpipes' drones;
Sackbuts, serpents, crystal lyres,
Counterpoint to twelve-part choirs.
Oboes and chromatic horns,
Clarinets which gold adorns,
Saxophones produced by saints,
Drums bedaubed with glowing paints.
Hark, the herald angels sing,
Let their melodies take wing!
Hark, the wondrous filigree
Of their great polyphony!
Passacaglias galore,
Canons, fugues, chaconnes and more.
Works to rival Bach's great Passions,
Blends of all stylistic fashions,
Themes from different times and lands,
Intertwined by Gabriel's bands.
Hark, the herald angels sing
Elements of everything!
Shepherds, goatherds, ostlers all,
Listen to the angels' call!
Burghers, leave your mansions great;
Peasants, quit your hovels strait!
All attend the holy manger,
Citizen or pious stranger;
Kneel and pray, or gently croon
Children's rhyme or cradle tune.
Hark, the herald angels sing
Glory to the newborn King!
Re: Alternative Christmas hymns
In the Bleak Midwinter
In the bleak midwinter, snow began to fall;
By the early evening, drifts enveloped all.
On and on the snow fell, on it fell;
Yet, amid the darkness, all was well.
In the town of David, Jesus Christ was born;
Angels flew across the land till the freezing morn.
From their lips came words of gold, words of gold:
God will bless the sick and poor, and warm the cold.
On the Cross our Saviour pays the awful price;
Then his Resurrection melts the ice.
We can feel the warmth of love, warmth of love,
From our great Redeemer up above.
Travellers may falter in the Arctic gale;
But, if they are worthy, God will never fail.
Faith will ever hold you tight, hold you tight,
Till your soul abides in endless light.
In the bleak midwinter, snow began to fall;
By the early evening, drifts enveloped all.
On and on the snow fell, on it fell;
Yet, amid the darkness, all was well.
In the town of David, Jesus Christ was born;
Angels flew across the land till the freezing morn.
From their lips came words of gold, words of gold:
God will bless the sick and poor, and warm the cold.
On the Cross our Saviour pays the awful price;
Then his Resurrection melts the ice.
We can feel the warmth of love, warmth of love,
From our great Redeemer up above.
Travellers may falter in the Arctic gale;
But, if they are worthy, God will never fail.
Faith will ever hold you tight, hold you tight,
Till your soul abides in endless light.
Re: Alternative Christmas hymns
I Saw Three Ships
I saw three ships come sailing by,
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day,
I saw three ships come sailing by –
A cruiser, tanker and liner.
The cruiser's mission was to beat
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day,
The Devil and his mighty fleet;
No naval task could be finer.
The tanker carried holy oil,
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day,
To drive God's battleships, and foil
The artful plan of the demon.
The liner's passengers were there
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day,
To give support by ardent prayer
To all our combatant seamen.
With fighters and auxiliaries,
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day,
And brave civilian souls like these,
We'll not be long in prevailing!
So let us boldly leave the shore,
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day,
All ready for the final war,
For which those vessels are sailing!
I saw three ships come sailing by,
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day,
I saw three ships come sailing by –
A cruiser, tanker and liner.
The cruiser's mission was to beat
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day,
The Devil and his mighty fleet;
No naval task could be finer.
The tanker carried holy oil,
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day,
To drive God's battleships, and foil
The artful plan of the demon.
The liner's passengers were there
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day,
To give support by ardent prayer
To all our combatant seamen.
With fighters and auxiliaries,
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day,
And brave civilian souls like these,
We'll not be long in prevailing!
So let us boldly leave the shore,
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day,
All ready for the final war,
For which those vessels are sailing!
Re: Alternative Christmas hymns
White Christmas
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas,
Just like the one in fairy tales,
But there's drizzle dropping, and endless shopping
Before the January sales!
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas,
Like that of Santa's magic crew,
But dreams so seldom come true,
And my heart is desperately blue.
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas,
Not like in London or New York,
Where the streets are icy and walking's dicey
And folk too occupied to talk.
My reveries are much nicer;
I see the forest hills so high
Where the reindeer gallop and fly,
And the snowflakes sparkle in the sky.
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas,
Just like the one in fairy tales,
But there's drizzle dropping, and endless shopping
Before the January sales!
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas,
Like that of Santa's magic crew,
But dreams so seldom come true,
And my heart is desperately blue.
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas,
Not like in London or New York,
Where the streets are icy and walking's dicey
And folk too occupied to talk.
My reveries are much nicer;
I see the forest hills so high
Where the reindeer gallop and fly,
And the snowflakes sparkle in the sky.
Re: Alternative Christmas hymns
See Amid the Winter's Snow
See! Amid the winter's snow,
Born upon a world of woe,
Christ, of whom the prophets told,
Turns our leaden hearts to gold!
Hail the miracle divine,
Hail the great celestial sign!
Him, who doth our sins destroy,
Praise with everlasting joy!
In the stable bray the beasts,
At the inn are merry feasts,
From the water dolphins leap,
On the hills see dancing sheep.
Hail the wise men from afar!
Hail the great refulgent star!
Hail the angels, hail the saints,
Hear the Devil's fearful plaints!
Angry preachers make a din,
Bellowing: "Repent your sin!"
Brandishing the Book, they yell:
"Sinners will be sent to Hell!"
But the Christian God eschews
Yahweh's diatribes to Jews;
Our almighty lord and liege
Promises noblesse oblige.
Jesus sits at God's right hand,
While upon his left there stand
Penitents as yet unshriv'n,
Swiftly now to be forgiv'n.
All the heathen deities
Fall abjectly to their knees,
Satan gasps his final curse,
Love pervades the universe!
See! Amid the winter's snow,
Born upon a world of woe,
Christ, of whom the prophets told,
Turns our leaden hearts to gold!
Hail the miracle divine,
Hail the great celestial sign!
Him, who doth our sins destroy,
Praise with everlasting joy!
In the stable bray the beasts,
At the inn are merry feasts,
From the water dolphins leap,
On the hills see dancing sheep.
Hail the wise men from afar!
Hail the great refulgent star!
Hail the angels, hail the saints,
Hear the Devil's fearful plaints!
Angry preachers make a din,
Bellowing: "Repent your sin!"
Brandishing the Book, they yell:
"Sinners will be sent to Hell!"
But the Christian God eschews
Yahweh's diatribes to Jews;
Our almighty lord and liege
Promises noblesse oblige.
Jesus sits at God's right hand,
While upon his left there stand
Penitents as yet unshriv'n,
Swiftly now to be forgiv'n.
All the heathen deities
Fall abjectly to their knees,
Satan gasps his final curse,
Love pervades the universe!
Re: Alternative Christmas hymns
The First Nowell
The first Nowell the angel did say
Was to shepherds on hillsides down Bethlehem way.
They sat among their rams and ewes
While the seraph announced this wonderful news:
"Nowell, Nowell, Nowell, Nowell,
God hath resolved to save you from Hell!
"You all shall live in His own place,
Not by desert but by His grace;
O watch the pardoned souls migrate
To Heaven through its silver gate!
Nowell, Nowell, Nowell, Nowell!"
Off went the angel, ringing a bell.
The people of Jerusalem
Received the news from Bethlehem,
Whereto rode citizens devout,
But priests in the Temple expressed their doubt.
Nowell, Nowell, Nowell, Nowell,
God hath destroyed his foe so fell!
The wicked Herod roared with ire:
"I must remove a threat so dire!
Put all male infants to the sword –
I'll have no rival king or lord!"
Nowell, Nowell, Nowell, Nowell,
What an appalling tale to tell!
The Romans always found it odd
That there should be but one true God,
And so they thought the angel's news
A fiction of misguided Jews.
Nowell, Nowell, Nowell, Nowell,
They would, in time, have faith as well.
There were three wise men, as you know,
Who with their gifts did westward go;
But thither too, from farther north,
There went a more elusive fourth,
Who by the Virgin pure did kneel,
Bearing a gift of stainless steel.
The star of Bethlehem was bright,
But so was the moon that holy night,
Till clouds did all its light absorb,
Which better showed the guiding orb.
Nowell, Nowell, Nowell, Nowell,
Praise be to God, who leads us well!
The fishermen of Galilee
Beheld a mermaid in the sea,
Who through the Holy Ghost foretold
How God's design would there unfold.
Nowell, Nowell, Nowell, Nowell,
Verily He doth sin dispel!
Delighted merchants boasted loud
Of profit from the teeming crowd,
But buyers did with truth protest
That needy folk are twice as blessed.
Nowell, Nowell, Nowell, Nowell,
Keep down your prices when you sell!
The oracles in distant towns
Cast off their gaudy pagan gowns,
For prophets licensed by the Lord
Alone can spread the Word abroad.
Nowell, Nowell, Nowell, Nowell,
Angels likewise may truth foretell.
Let peoples be no more at odds,
For the Lord hath vanquished lesser gods;
Though scholars quibble and dispute,
One fact is certain at its root:
Nowell, Nowell, Nowell, Nowell,
God hath prevailed, and all is well!
So, children, take your presents bright
And play with them to your delight,
And if some gifts should please you less,
Let not their kindly donors guess.
Nowell, Nowell, Nowell, Nowell,
Born is the king of Israel!
The first Nowell the angel did say
Was to shepherds on hillsides down Bethlehem way.
They sat among their rams and ewes
While the seraph announced this wonderful news:
"Nowell, Nowell, Nowell, Nowell,
God hath resolved to save you from Hell!
"You all shall live in His own place,
Not by desert but by His grace;
O watch the pardoned souls migrate
To Heaven through its silver gate!
Nowell, Nowell, Nowell, Nowell!"
Off went the angel, ringing a bell.
The people of Jerusalem
Received the news from Bethlehem,
Whereto rode citizens devout,
But priests in the Temple expressed their doubt.
Nowell, Nowell, Nowell, Nowell,
God hath destroyed his foe so fell!
The wicked Herod roared with ire:
"I must remove a threat so dire!
Put all male infants to the sword –
I'll have no rival king or lord!"
Nowell, Nowell, Nowell, Nowell,
What an appalling tale to tell!
The Romans always found it odd
That there should be but one true God,
And so they thought the angel's news
A fiction of misguided Jews.
Nowell, Nowell, Nowell, Nowell,
They would, in time, have faith as well.
There were three wise men, as you know,
Who with their gifts did westward go;
But thither too, from farther north,
There went a more elusive fourth,
Who by the Virgin pure did kneel,
Bearing a gift of stainless steel.
The star of Bethlehem was bright,
But so was the moon that holy night,
Till clouds did all its light absorb,
Which better showed the guiding orb.
Nowell, Nowell, Nowell, Nowell,
Praise be to God, who leads us well!
The fishermen of Galilee
Beheld a mermaid in the sea,
Who through the Holy Ghost foretold
How God's design would there unfold.
Nowell, Nowell, Nowell, Nowell,
Verily He doth sin dispel!
Delighted merchants boasted loud
Of profit from the teeming crowd,
But buyers did with truth protest
That needy folk are twice as blessed.
Nowell, Nowell, Nowell, Nowell,
Keep down your prices when you sell!
The oracles in distant towns
Cast off their gaudy pagan gowns,
For prophets licensed by the Lord
Alone can spread the Word abroad.
Nowell, Nowell, Nowell, Nowell,
Angels likewise may truth foretell.
Let peoples be no more at odds,
For the Lord hath vanquished lesser gods;
Though scholars quibble and dispute,
One fact is certain at its root:
Nowell, Nowell, Nowell, Nowell,
God hath prevailed, and all is well!
So, children, take your presents bright
And play with them to your delight,
And if some gifts should please you less,
Let not their kindly donors guess.
Nowell, Nowell, Nowell, Nowell,
Born is the king of Israel!
Re: Alternative Christmas hymns
Three Kings from Persian Lands Afar
Three kings from Persian lands afar
To Bethlehem pursue the star;
The peaceful gifts that they convey
In brightly painted carts along the way
Will mark their homage to our Lord
More fittingly than armour, shield or sword!
From mighty ziggurat or lofty tower
The kings, apprised of a greater power,
Have come in solemn ritual gowns,
With coronets in place of stately crowns,
To praise the Lord of every land,
To whom all potentates must cede command.
O Jesus Christ, Emperor of all!
To thee all kings and vassals call:
From warring princes take control,
Refine our heart, and save our soul;
And then, with thine unbounded grace,
Offer us all, in God's exalted place,
Joy evermore!
Three kings from Persian lands afar
To Bethlehem pursue the star;
The peaceful gifts that they convey
In brightly painted carts along the way
Will mark their homage to our Lord
More fittingly than armour, shield or sword!
From mighty ziggurat or lofty tower
The kings, apprised of a greater power,
Have come in solemn ritual gowns,
With coronets in place of stately crowns,
To praise the Lord of every land,
To whom all potentates must cede command.
O Jesus Christ, Emperor of all!
To thee all kings and vassals call:
From warring princes take control,
Refine our heart, and save our soul;
And then, with thine unbounded grace,
Offer us all, in God's exalted place,
Joy evermore!
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