I got this from a friend who calls herself georgia
peach. Now I'm your typical Yankee but my mate is "Southern" and I have to tell you all the in' endings wear on my soul. but here goes in a gesture of good will"
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them
_____
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
_____
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
_____
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, ... as in: "Going to town, be back directly"
_____
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
_____
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
_____
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
_____
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
_____
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
_____
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
_____
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
_____
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line," ... we talk to everybody!
_____
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
_____
In the South, y'all is singular, ... all y'all is plural.
_____
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
_____
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
_____
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
_____
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
_____
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.
_____
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
_____
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
_____
And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
mark
talkin' southern
talkin' southern
Today is the first day of the rest of your life, Make the most of it...
kb
-
- Great Grand Panjandrum
- Posts: 2578
- Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 3:56 pm
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Re: talkin' southern
I LIKE that one!. . . And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
mark
Regards//Larry
"To preserve liberty, it is essential that the whole body of the people always possess arms, and be taught alike, especially when young, how to use them."
-- Attributed to Richard Henry Lee
"To preserve liberty, it is essential that the whole body of the people always possess arms, and be taught alike, especially when young, how to use them."
-- Attributed to Richard Henry Lee
These are great. The only one I take exception to is this:
And as for the term "mess", that reminds me of a story...
My mom is from the mountains of North Carolina, and they have a colorful way of speaking there that is a special blend of Southern and Appalachian, I think.
Anyway, my mom's parents lived very humbly and had 10 children, and all the children worked on the farm and in the store. They went without any of the non-necessary things that were becoming fashionable during the 50's and later, which we all have grown accustomed to expecting. Anyway, the youngest child, Colleen, was probably the most susceptible to the idea that she should have things other people have and behave in ways that are socially acceptable to a degree that exceeded the norm for her family or the neighborhood and community that she grew up in.
One day Colleen was enjoying one of her favorite meals, called a Bean Mess -- basically lots of beans mixed up in a bowl with mayonnaise, and sometimes macaroni. Her friend dropped in to see her, and Colleen invited her to stay and eat with them. But when her friend asked what she was having, Colleen froze and was too embarrassed to say "a Bean Mess"! So she called it a Bean Casserole.
I thought that was pretty quick thinking for a little girl! And it still makes me laugh to think of Aunt Colleen going through that social crisis...
-Tim
I think that may be a regional thing, because I never learned to say "all y'all".In the South, y'all is singular, ... all y'all is plural.
And as for the term "mess", that reminds me of a story...
My mom is from the mountains of North Carolina, and they have a colorful way of speaking there that is a special blend of Southern and Appalachian, I think.
Anyway, my mom's parents lived very humbly and had 10 children, and all the children worked on the farm and in the store. They went without any of the non-necessary things that were becoming fashionable during the 50's and later, which we all have grown accustomed to expecting. Anyway, the youngest child, Colleen, was probably the most susceptible to the idea that she should have things other people have and behave in ways that are socially acceptable to a degree that exceeded the norm for her family or the neighborhood and community that she grew up in.
One day Colleen was enjoying one of her favorite meals, called a Bean Mess -- basically lots of beans mixed up in a bowl with mayonnaise, and sometimes macaroni. Her friend dropped in to see her, and Colleen invited her to stay and eat with them. But when her friend asked what she was having, Colleen froze and was too embarrassed to say "a Bean Mess"! So she called it a Bean Casserole.
I thought that was pretty quick thinking for a little girl! And it still makes me laugh to think of Aunt Colleen going through that social crisis...
-Tim
That's an entertaining list, Mark. (I've gone a couple rounds on "all y'all" with Tim myself. He keeps insisting that it's wrong.)
Good story, Tim!
I'd probably take exception to Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, ... as in: "Going to town, be back directly"
I've lived in a passel(!) of northern states, have pert near always used "directly" for "in an unspecifed short time in the foreseeable future", and nobody's yet asked for clarification.
-gailr
Good story, Tim!
I'd probably take exception to Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, ... as in: "Going to town, be back directly"
I've lived in a passel(!) of northern states, have pert near always used "directly" for "in an unspecifed short time in the foreseeable future", and nobody's yet asked for clarification.
-gailr
Great list, and a great story.
When I was at the beginning of a long stream of mechanical misadventures with my prior vehicle (a '92 Chevy Lumina van), a mechanic told me I had a mess in my engine. At the time I thought that he was just using a colorful local expression. It turns out that 'a mess in my engine' was marvelous understatement.
BTW, when I was growing up in Detroit we had a helper from the South (I believe Tennessee). One of her favorite expressions was to tell us (affectionately) that we were "a mess of a mess of a mess".
When I was at the beginning of a long stream of mechanical misadventures with my prior vehicle (a '92 Chevy Lumina van), a mechanic told me I had a mess in my engine. At the time I thought that he was just using a colorful local expression. It turns out that 'a mess in my engine' was marvelous understatement.
BTW, when I was growing up in Detroit we had a helper from the South (I believe Tennessee). One of her favorite expressions was to tell us (affectionately) that we were "a mess of a mess of a mess".
"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once. Lately it hasn't been working."
Anonymous
Anonymous
and here I thought that calling someone or something "a mess" was something my mother's generation said to show disapproval (from their own great height.)...mess... It turns out that 'a mess in my engine' was marvelous understatement.
Perry you are a stitch!
mark
Today is the first day of the rest of your life, Make the most of it...
kb
I must be getting used to the knife and the sutures. I had one more operation 24 January (our wedding anniversary at that!), and then competed in a national Taekwondo tournament 19 March. Thanks for the kind thoughts.
"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once. Lately it hasn't been working."
Anonymous
Anonymous
Garden Hose?
where I come from, the green snakey thing that you water your flowers and veggie patch with is called a hose-pipe.
How many can identify?
How many can identify?
Jesus Christ, the same Yesterday, Today, and Forever.
--Heb. 13:8
--Heb. 13:8
Ahh, so therein lies the root of your quick wits: "that which does not kill me makes me stranger."I must be getting used to the knife and the sutures. I had one more operation 24 January (our wedding anniversary at that!), and then competed in a national Taekwondo tournament 19 March.
-gailr
Re: Garden Hose?
It's a hose everywher I go, the pipe is what you screw the hose into that comes from the basement, out through the foundation.where I come from, the green snakey thing that you water your flowers and veggie patch with is called a hose-pipe.
mark
Today is the first day of the rest of your life, Make the most of it...
kb
Directly, all y'all. . .
I never cease to be surprised to see the word 'directly' spelled 'directly. In my pre-school mind & onward, I always saw it spelled 'dreckly'. When I was taught how to use the dictionary, I looked for 'dreckly' in every dictionary including the Cambridge. I finally heard it pronounced correctly by a wizened old lady in the Ozarks. Relief at last!!
During the spring, I've been known to call out vehemently, "ALL y'all, duck 'n cover. Tornado signal 'n it just might not be a drill !!"
It's Memorial Day, 2006.
How many y'all need to duck 'n cover?
Correct answer: ALL y'all !!
During the spring, I've been known to call out vehemently, "ALL y'all, duck 'n cover. Tornado signal 'n it just might not be a drill !!"
It's Memorial Day, 2006.
How many y'all need to duck 'n cover?
Correct answer: ALL y'all !!
Gail has penetrated to the very essence of my modus vivendi.Ahh, so therein lies the root of your quick wits: "that which does not kill me makes me stranger."I must be getting used to the knife and the sutures. I had one more operation 24 January (our wedding anniversary at that!), and then competed in a national Taekwondo tournament 19 March.
-gailr
"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once. Lately it hasn't been working."
Anonymous
Anonymous
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